Skin Head Mets Rule Jints, 4-1

For the Mets, their 20th win of the season against only 12 losses which kept them even with the Braves for first. But the real story was not Tom Glavine's 294th, Bonds' 745th career homerun (250th non-steroid-enhanced blast), the real story was the unique punishment meted out by Manager Willie to his team for making such a debacle of the 5th inning on Monday night. The collective shaved heads.

Sure, they say this was a spontaneous act of team-bonding but when you peel back the layers of relunctance you'll see the truth is this was a team punishment handed down by hair nazi, Willie Randolph. Yes, we've known all along he had a special fetish about facial hair but this next step into hair fascism, the symbolic act of group submission had all the fingerprints and hallmarks of a hair-mad manager gone mad.

True, no more hats flying off Shawn Green's head, no more flashy-locked David Newhan. Just this boot camp appearance and perhaps a few celebrity look-alikes in the making.

"Pelfrey looks like Sinead O'Connor." Paul Lo Duca observed.

Yeah but how good is he at tearing up pictures of the Pope on Saturday Night Live?


It seems like an eternity but Tom Glavine finally has win number 294. Just think how fast he'd have hit 300 had he not been pitching with such mediocrity for those famed somnambulist Mets sleepily ruled by Art Howe for those few forgettable years.

Against the same Giants that pounded the Mets for 9 runs in the 5th inning the day before, this time hey, with nary an error to be produced, Glavine pitched seven nearly-flawless innings, allowing just Bonds' home run in the fourth inning and six dinky singles whilst striking out 5 and seeing his ERA drop to 2.98 on the season.

David Wright shaved head and all, warmed to being slotted between Reyes and Beltran in the batting order, (who wouldn't?) and slapped two doubles in four at-bats last night to raise his average to .254. Oddly enough Paul Lo Duca, moved from second to seventh in the order, felt no repercussions, tapping three singles in four at-bats.

Tonight (or afternoon, or tomorrow depending on which side of the Atlantic you live on) the freshly shorn John Maine goes for undefeated win number six against these same Giants.

Superstition believes Maine should have been exempt from this head-shaving chicanery until his first loss but we will see if there's any merit to such fears. In truth, the Mets will need to reel off about 10 wins in a row to make this skinhead look worth while.


Itsmetsforme said...

wow you have this recap up in record time. are you getting the games scores before they're actually over here in the states?

Love the "bank holiday" description. Mets Chase their blues away, etc.

Jaap said...

yes indeed. little known fact - all the Mets games are fixed. I know the scores weeks in advance but wait until shortly before the day of to post them lest the anticipation of the season be dampened...