Gloves Off, NL's "Best" Punch Back


JJ Hardy isn't kidding around is he?

Sure, only Saturday morning I was questioning the source of his unprecedented surge not only in hitting but in power, (slight elbow to the ribs, kid, wink, wink, no steroids here, just great coaching...)

And then he goes off on Saturday and hits a bloody grand slam and drives in 5 runs over the last two innings of the game as though he were personally insulted by the proposition that his rise this season might not be entirely on the up and up.

What's his secret? Protein Supplements? Carrot juice smoothies? Jim Skaalen?

You see, years ago, a kid would suddenly gush forth new and unprecedented numbers and you'd stand there with big eyes going wow and figuring that it must have taken alot of glasses of milk and millions of hours of batting practice to make such strident improvements in such a short period of time. Youth after all, is about improvement and back in the early days, a transformation like Hardy's would be the stuff of inspiration.

Of course nowadays someone undergoes such a transformation and the first thought in this steroid-tainted weltschmerz of a baseball world is that he must be doing something that although not quite illegal, might just place him somewhere higher in the choir of whiter-than-white paens and in fact, might see his face splashed some day on the cover of Steroid Man Monthly or amid the annual cattle call of shamed steroid stars littering the road to Cooperstown.

But Hardy's power at least appears to have been foretold. In googling Hardy and Steroids I came across someone else wondering about this magical source of power albeit not mentioning that taboo word...apparently he had big numbers in the minor leagues, foreshadowing this recent outburst.

But that's absolute rubbish. Myths created by Brewers fans trying to deflect attention away from this suspicious behaviour. He played 302 minor league games in his life, hit .272 and had a measely 25 homers to show for it.

Forget about the medical records of Sammy Sosa and Rafael Palmeiro, Mr George Mitchell, witch-hunter. Why don't you ask JJ Hardy to piss on Moises Alou's palms and see if it turns them green?

And all of this, every word, a vast conspiracy you see, ladies and gentleman, a smoke screen of sorts to obscure the blatant butchery of the Mets pitching staff in Saturday's ridiculous 12-3 drubbing by Hardy and the Brewers at Shea.

Ok, I've tired of leading off summaries of Mike Pelfrey starts with some absurdist, optimistic screed about how much potential this kid has. He has now learned to do that all by himself:

"The thing is, I thought I made progress. Paulie [Lo Duca] said I threw great. I feel like I'm getting better. I threw breaking balls for strikes when I was behind and... You know, it'd have been real nice to have something to show for it."


Let's talk about that season-long first-inning ERA of 14.40, shall we? Or the overall 6.53 ERA. Or the 0-5 record this season.

Well, let's just say your starts haven't been magical this season and leave it at that for the time being, shall we?

Just because Oliver Perez seems to have found himself and Jorge Sosa looks like too may have regained his aura of auld doesn't mean you won't find yourself on the next bus to New Orleans if you don't speed up the learning process...

But in truth, this wasn't really Pelfrey's fault, this loss. The Mets were only down 4-3 when he left the game.

For once, the bullpen let the Mets down and hey, that happens sometimes.

Perfection is gone...

Joe Smith, heretofore unscored upon all season, broke his trance over NL batters with great zeal by surrendering Hardy's grand slam in the 8th. Maybe his parents were the curse. Smith's parents, Lee and Mike, were in town for the first time. Next time, tell them to stay home.

Pedro Feliciano and Scott Schoeneweis also surrendered themselves to the demythification of the NL's finest pen as the Brewers scored 8 runs over the final two innings to emphatically restate their current title as NL's best.

12 runs and 16 hits in all.

Further ugly details, we'll spare you this time around.

For one afternoon at Shea anyway, perhaps even just a pair of late innings, the Brewers showed the Mets why they have the best record. But hell, these things happen from time to time. (Maybe not to the Braves who won yet again against the Pirates and increased their margin over the Mets in the NL East).

So it's one of those games you can just forget about. "Not a pretty day," Willie Randolph commented.

No, Willie. Not a pretty day at all.

Not even for Jose Reyes, who joined the shaved-head cult.

Funny thing is, he still went 0-4.

In the rubber match this afternoon the Mets will face undefeated (5-0) Chris Capuano who is 0-2 with a 5.40 ERA in three starts against the Mets.

Pitching for the Mets, mystery man: Oliver Perez.


sanchez said...

Maybe Pelfrey should try a little of whatever J.J. Hardy is on...

Itsmetsforme said...

Hardy har har.

Pee your pants for the Brewers!

I thought you'd like to know, my Alyssa Milano campaign is paying dividends. I can now claim that i have been censored (my semi-inflamatory posts erased) 3 times by Allysa Milano! How many blog jerks can claim that?

Once for telling another poster she threw like a girl, once for asking about Psycho Steve Lyons, and another time for asking what the hell was the meaning of some bad inspirational poetry on her website (sample: "i remind myself of the power of thought and how it's my obligation as a citizen (and student) of humanity to propel compassion")

I think she wants to meet me, and is pissed off because I've seen her boobies and she hasn't seen mine.

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