Archie Bunker's Army

23:41 GST, I'm plugged in to the Mets going to bat, 8th inning, Santana exactly 100 pitches. 6-2 lead. I've erred. Forgot about the time difference, went out to see a band and on the way home, pop! It dawned on me that the bloody Mets were already well into the heat of Game One...so I ran past the long boats and scattered the seagulls in all directions, three flights of stairs up and slid into the seat for the WFAN broadcast. What was I expecting against the team that absolutely humiliated the Mets in the final game of the season when we last saw them? Well, certainly the hype and warp speed of expectations with the signing of Santana meant hmmm....the last time the Mets debut of a big name offseason acquisition pitcher, the he-man of the rotation came a few years back against the Reds, Pedro's debut demolished... I'm sorry, I couldn't help remembering Looper's Pooper before Mike Jacobs pops out a three run homer in the 8th...but no, a nightmare that we are...

With the season neigh upon us, time for a quick look at 5 Things In Favour of the Mets Winning The NL East and 5 Things That Might Prevent The Mets From Making the Post Season. 5 Things That Might Prevent The Mets From Making the Post Season : 1. Age of the Pitching Staff : We all know that age kills over the course of a 162 game season. Having top line starters or the meat of your order pushing 40 is an open invitation to breakdown and disappointment, unless of course, a plucky bench and a depleted farm system can come to the rescue. Of the pitching staff, Pedro , coming off a season he pitched less than a half dozen games in, Scott Schoenweiss and Billy Wagner are all either 35 or older or will turn 35 this season. The 80 year old El Duque is already on the 15-day DL and will require yet another force majeure, a miracle of age and wonder, to avoid the physical collapse that would fail every other senior citizen in his position. When you consider that he contributed 24 starts and n...

Seeing as how Opening Day is a day away (or yesterday's today, tomorrow's yesterday ?) in Japan and doesn't feature the Mets or even an NL team, we aren't considering this official in the traditional sense. Accordingly, rather than recount the deeds being done so far, far away or write some baseball satire, eyeball-popping headline like Pedro Loses Right Arm In Bar Brawl , I've chosen instead to regale yea fortunate readers with a little baseball poem by Lawrence Ferlinghetti, writer and founder of the infamous City Lights Bookstore . Ferlinghetti, for those of you unfamiliar, was jailed in those dark and evil days or yore when publishing "obscenity" was punishable by jail terms. Just imagine what they'd regard the majority of non-political blog content these days, or 90% if the internet these days... Baseball Canto Lawrence Ferlinghetti Watching baseball, sitting in the sun, eating popcorn, reading Ezra Pound, and wishing that Juan Marichal ...

"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." Jackie Mason Having recently reviewed the cause for cautious optimism for the prospects of the Mets pitching staff in 2008, we now turn our weary eyes to the dilemmas facing us in the field and at the plate. Catcher and Outfield When perusing the Mets potential starting lineup in the field let me make one thing abundantly clear for the 1000th time. Yes, brilliant job getting Santana, Omar but I'm still picking the shit sandwich out of my teeth every time I see Brian Schneider and Ryan Church running around in a Mets uniform and Lastings Milledge in a Nats kit. I've put this unusual combination first because considering the vacancy in right field (ok, the Jesus Freak is out there when he isn't concussing himself but that's only to provide cheap entertainment on windy day middle outfield pop-ups and an easy bull's eye for the Army when frustration set...

"The reason we all like to think so well of others is that we are all afraid for ourselves. The basis of optimism is sheer terror." Oscar Wilde , The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891 There are two ways to approach Spring Training: 1. Hysterical with joy or misery with every meaningless victory or loss regardless of whether or not your team fields its starting 8 on the field or a loose collection of minor league hopefuls getting some seasoning, OR 2. Complete indifference to results provided that at least one near-nobody comes out of nowhere to make the roster in impressive and unexpected fashion, possibly filling in a hole, and none of the guys you will expect to rely on throughout the course of the season suffer some serious injury before the games even begin to matter. And where hysterical meets indifference, that's where you'll find the Army marching in place waiting out these miserable days on Optimism Boulevard, waiting for the penny to drop and sniffing the pa...

"It's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely" - Cole Porter I have to admit, when I first saw this photo and the nearly gushing article that accompanied it, I could nearly feel myself, as though in a preternatural dream of Spring Training, reaching for a little brown paper bag to hyperventilate into. "So please be sweet, my chickadee And when I kiss ya, just say to me "It's delightful, it's delicious, it's delectable, it's delirious, It's dilemma, it's de limit, it's deluxe, it's de-lovely" Because yet again we are reminded not only around us, as the winter's bleak veneer slowly cracks, but also in baseball, as through those cracks makes way for the promise of renewal, the warmth of summer days slowly grinding in to long, hot Augusts and mind-numbing Septembers where seemingly insurmountable leads evaporate... "You can tell at a glance what a swell night this is for romance You can hear dear Mother Nat...