Chan Ho Chump, Mets Lose To Marlins

Shocking, perhaps. Emergency starter pitches like emergency victim.


To the naked eye, Chan Ho "looks" like he knows what he's doing...

No wait a minute - a 33 year old washout with four rotten starts for the Mets' Triple-A team and a 7.28 ERA in the minor leagues this season to boot gets the start for the injured El Duque and let's see what did we expect?


Is LoDuca taking it away to keep the Mets from danger?

Seven runs in four innings? Well, I've got no crystal ball but given his performance for the Zephyrs I'd say well, that's about spot on.


O What Work In Being Incompetent!

So what else could we expect, miracles?

Well, dropping down the first 8 Marlins in order, we allowed ourselves to dream...

Yeah, it'd have been nice. A pitching performance that didn't resemble Oliver Perez' wildest moments. Hey, Chan Ho - we've got one of 'im already. Walking the bases loaded in the third, meltdown?

Of course, another replacement Met, Damion Easley didn't assist matters. Defence counts, kids, remember? Especially when you've got a sweaty vet with poor Minor League credentials choking it up out there. He seemed apologetic enough aftewards, saying "It's a play that I expect to make 100 percent of the time, and that was just bad timing." - but the bottom line is, when you've got a dodgy pitcher out there, the last thing he needs is dodgy defence behind him.

Easley had a ball sail past his glove, or through it perhaps is more accurate and voila, a two-run single. But hey, let's face it. Trying to judge these things in 20 mph winds can be rather difficult. Look at how it blew a pop up into a double for Mike Jacobs and then a dinky little bloop made it 5-0 before you had time to say Chan Ho Magod!

But hey, there's an auld Korean saying: The bad plowman quarrels with his ox so let's not blame Chan Ho Alone for this disaster. I mean five runs against Marlins pitching is virtually none.

So why didn't the Mets roar back for a stirring come-from-behind victory?

Well, it certainly wasn't Carlos Beltran's fault. He had went 4 for 5 with a homer on his lonesome and is hitting .515 (17-for-33) against left-handers.


Like Shawn Green popping this two-run single in the 6th...

But there wasn't enough David Wright, for example. Now it isn't fair to lay all the burden on the Kid's shoulders but there he was in the 7th, two men on, ready to break the game back up to even and there he was, three bloody pitches later, striking out. And hey, Moises, thanks for the double play as well.

Now just kidding about Moises because so far, everything we expected and perhaps a little more this April but Kid Wright? Another donut and a .244 average this season, no homers to show for it? What's up with that? Is this a sophomore slump come late? Certainly not. We'll all be patient with you when you're hitting .400 in August and these games get blown wide open.

Just not tonight. And not for first place.

That's right!

First place? Gone!

The Braves beat the Phillies (about as surprising as Chan Ho Park's performance - a walkoff homer against the tea-bagging Phillies bullpen) and they are back atop the NL East by a half game again, this seasaw season's beginning sawed back - hopefully the end of the month isn't some sort of precursor to the rest of the season.

*****

All bad enough, you reckon.

Starting pitcher El Duque and starting second baseman Jose Valentin both going on the disabled list yesterday but now we also hear an ex-Met batboy/attendant spills his beans on a brewing steroid controversy.

Well, let's hope the fact that Mike Pelfrey's ridiculous 0-2 7.90 debut and that foul embarassment against the Rockies last start will be outdone by Marlins starter Ricky Nolasco's dubious 20.20 ERA, arm troubles and pitch count. Let's hope anyway.