Mets Pre-Preview: Why I Won't Be Holding My Breath

It's pitchers and catchers soon.

Ironically, the Mets don't seem to have much of either and those that they do have are full of question marks; Puntos de InterogaciĆ³n Iniciales and Puntos de InterrogaciĆ³n Finales.

In other words, the off season was remarkably similar to the 2009 season; dollops of delusional, wishful thinking.

I think you definitely stand pat with last year's rotation. After all, Santana says he's better and we should always believe what the Mets organisation and willing athletes publically declare about their injuries. That means he'll probably win 30 games this season to avoid being thrown too far off track by last season's premature ending. Of course, he's a year older as well. And can we really believe his physical woes are over with a simple elbow surgery, bone chip removal surgery? His return has been almost too easy. You've got to wonder if the simple surgery was done to put off an inevitable, career-threatening surgery, especially considering he's a Met and that Mets physicians practice their trade playing that game, Operation.

Mets physicians table....

And Pelf, Maine and Oliver Perez?

Look, these are by and large, young guys. This trio combined for 20 wins last season. That's a nice round number for the meat of your rotation. Inspirational. Pelf has lost weight because weight apparently was the reason for all his failings, not his mental incapacities or dropping the mouth guard. So if you consider that he's young, that he probably pitched with sophomoric burnout most of last season you'll see that 10 wins can quite easily become 20 wins, especially with the 5.03 he sported last season. That's 50 wins just for the number one and number two starters. The entire team only won 70 games last year so we're looking at remarkable, tangible improvement and by god, the Mets management was right, there's no need to change anything about this rotation. This is the best rotation in baseball. If you're too senile to think straight or if your mind is already so rotted with drug and alcohol abuse.

As for Maine and Perez, these two combined for 10 wins. There's alot of room for improvement. For one, Perez was fat and injured most of the year and he's had surgery to remove scar tissue from his right knee so expect his win output to at least double from the 3 games he won last season. Or if we're crazy optimistic, we'll say 10 wins. On the other hand, he DIDN'T have any surgery to implant a brain or surgery that would prevent him from frequent bouts of inexplicable wildness so maybe optimism is not the way to lean here. I'll split the difference and say Ollie might be good for 5 wins this season. There will be at least 5 games in 2010 that make you say wow, what a great pitcher, why can't he do that all the time? That's just the way the Rollo Rolls.

Maine? Enigma. Is he healthy? Is he hurt? Probability over the course of his career says he'll be hurt. He's always hurt or recovering from being hurt. So you could say he'll pitch half his starts and win a third of those. Let's say 5 wins.

That's a total of 60 wins from the top four.


No End To The Riches: 36 year old Catalanotto now a Met

I like it when the word "intangibles" is the best word you can find to describe a new Mets signing. It makes my heart flutter with excitement.

Who needs Orlando Hudson when you've got intangibles?

I'm reminded of Donald Rumsfeld ruminations on the matter:

"There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know."

Frank Catalanotto is one of those things we don't know we don't know and yet another reason, along with the signing of Fernando Tatis and Josh Fogg that we don't need to know what we don't know because we don't even know that we don't know it yet.

2010 Mets Promotional Poster can finally be revealed

I mean Frank Catalanotto could make a great bench coach for the Buffalo Bisons. Just think how valuable that could be to Buffalo and all the 40 year old Triple AAA detritus that will populate their roster in 2010.

Or maybe Luis Castillo will break his leg falling down the dugout steps in Florida during Spring Training and Frank Catalanotto will become the Mets starting second baseman for 2010.

You just don't know you don't know, do you?

The bigger question is how is Alex Cora going to sleep nights now knowing Frank Catalanotto is breathing down his neck?

Maybe Alex Cora was laughing quietly to himself while Jose Reyes was running his five 90 foot sprints and figuring well, Reyes' hamstrings have probably seen about as much action as they can take and its a matter of hours before he tears one of them stepping out of a cab and he takes his familiar place on the disabled list.

I mean think about it - the Mets could have Alex Cora AND Frank Catalanotto starting in the infield at the same time! If that doesn't strike fear into their NL East opponents, nothing will.

Well ok, maybe seeing Fogg emerging from the bullpen late in the 4th inning after Oliver Perez has walked in 6 runs and hit 8 batters will worry them. Fear the Fogg, that's what they used to say in Pittsburgh. I mean his nickname is "The Dragon Slayer" after all. It's true. You can look it up if you don't believe me.

Josh Fogg is comfortable with his secret life...

Of course, I don't know why he's called the Dragon Slayer. It could be some sexual euphemism for all I know. Surely with a lifetime ERA of 5.03 it's little to do with getting Major League batters out. But look, if he makes the team and if he's doing long relief chances are it won't really matter very often how he fares. And that's what makes these 2010 Mets so interesting.

If all else fails, they'll be the most intangible team in America.