I suppose we shouldn't be picky.

A win is a win, right?

Maybe Santana should be developing secret handshakes with the Mets bats rather than the players who swing them since that seems to be getting him no where.

A brilliant Johan Santana start, seven innings worth of it, and flowed by the intimidating precision of the Mets 1-2 knock out punch from the bullpen in the form of Putz and K-Rod saw the Mets shut Brewers batters down for the day. Completely.

Shhhh, we're trying to enjoy this.

Don't ask aloud why the Mets only scored one run and even that, barely so.

Don't spoil the party by bemoaning more pathetic plate performances - that the Mets for example, went 0 for 5 with runners in scoring position.

Sorry, I'm not buying the Yovani Gallardo as the Mexican Cy Young comparison just yet

After all, Santana doesn't complain. Look how they treat him: four runs in support in three starts.

Is that taking the piss or what? Four runs in three starts? That's not support. That's standing around and watching. Closing your eyes in the dugout and imagining support.

Not that he's needed it. Have you memorised the statistic yet? Say it with me:

In 19 2/3 innings this season, Santana has allowed one earned run — for a 0.46 earned run average.

So it's not like he's asking much out of these Met batters.

And Mets batters failing in clutch situations is no surprise but seeing The Magical Murph get benched in favour of a very dodgy Gary Sheffield in left field raised more than a few eyebrows.

Clearly Santana has put the word out; he doesn't want that kid out there dropping fly balls. After all, it was Murph's fault that Santana had to withstand a lost against Josh Johnson and the Marlins his last time out.

I tried to send Santana an email after the game since I haven't got access to the exclusive Shitty Field interview room. I tried to intercept some post-game twittering from the players car park.

Did you really have Murphy benched because you were so sickened by that fly ball cock up that blew the game for you against the Marlins, Johan? That's cold.

Was Danny Boy the sacrificial lamb for Santana's victory yesterday?

From Santana, nothing but silence. He can feed the boys in the interview room those fat quotes in two languages but when it comes to answering real questions, he's nowhere to be found.

"Hey Johan, buen juego. Are you ever going to let Murphy start in left field in a game you start the rest of the season?"

More silence.

But that's not even the biggest mystery. The biggest mystery is why did Keef have the day off from the broadcast booth? You think we like to be subjected to listening to Gary Cohen and Ron Darling try to out nerd themselves all afternoon with a bunch of bad puns?

Sure Keef said he had to clean out his garage and he was going to Tivo the game but who in their right mind really believes that? What kind of broadcaster takes the day off less than a dozen games into the season? Can the Mets not AFFORD to pay three announcers every game? They've got to give Keef a few days off?

Hell, to distract me from nattering on about the Mets lack of clutch hitting, I'll even discuss why MLB has a lede on the opening of Alyssa Milano's Touch Boutique at Shitty Field. Is this baseball news, a clothing line?

And not only that, perhaps a directive from whatever MLB executive she's had off in the car park, but they also forced Kevin Burkhardt to listen to a stream of banal prattle about clothes and her childhood memories. Basically, the kind of rubbish Burkhardt would have been forced to pretend to be interested in if the two of them were having dinner out somewhere and Burkhardt were trying to get her back to his hotel room.

I mean come on, do we really need to be forced fed some shitty clothing line from the woman who brought us that fascinating acting performance in Embrace of the Vampire, the "erotic" thriller?

But look, Alyssa Milano's fashion sense is as prolific as the Mets' ability to score runs in the clutch so rather than dig deeper into these mysteries, I'll just leave you with an oversized reminder of the bombardment of Touch, it's subsidiaries and of course, the futility of the Mets generally, even in victory.

At the end of of a 162 game season this is going to be a victory, nothing more, nothing less. Probably a forgotten win, one which we won't remember to bitch and complain about the Mets only scoring one run. At least the a nice strike-em-out-throw-em-out finale almost made the day bearable.

Game over!


Anonymous said...

Are you fucking kidding me? This ain't the Yankees. Take your controversy generator and go home.

sanchez said...

yeah, jaap. that's right. get out of here with that controversy generator of yours, it's taking up to much space from the Yankees banner on the home page. every day is fucking beautiful in MetsLand. Stop being such a downer and get on the bandwagon.

Jaap said...

Anonymous, is that you Alyssa? Didn't I tell you before if you're going to write bitter comments on my blog every time I post something about your hideous fashion line, at least have the decency to out yourself.

Jaap said...

and sanchez, when is the bandwagon leaving the station already? That 25-for-106 with men in scoring position appears to be slowing the bandwagon down a little.

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