Sticking With The New Recipe

Although Jerry Manuel didn't reveal this is in the post-loss press conference he found so hilarious, the Mets have indeed discovered a three star recipe for losing they find agreeable.

You start with an opposing pitcher who doesn't have his right stuff, at least early on, and you fill up the bases with Mets. Oh, you'll also need a mediocre club behind them on the one side and of course on the other side an absurdly talented and well paid team of 9 players on the other side who you will need to be able to put up gaudy numbers for at-bats that don't matter, just so the expectation is raised high enough.

Then, instead of driving all those runners home like the normal chef would do, (here is the secret for those of your trying this at home), you leave those runners on base so that even if you do manage to squeak out a run or even two, the lead isn't so insurmountable that the opposing team becomes demoralised.

Next you allow whatever slim you have to slowly drizzle away, inning by inning until either the score is tied or you've actually managed to fall behind by a run or two.

Simultaneously, in your own at-bats in the middle innings you will again put numerous runners on base and in scoring position and make sure that each of your hitters, no matter how famous or how well he hits with nobody on base, fails in that key moment to deliver anything but a weak bouncer back to the pitcher, a double play grounder or better still, strikes out weakly.

This is the key ingredient folks, and whilst the temptation to drive runners in to take the lead might be there, ignore that temptation and stick closely to the recipe because it is proven to work.

Then, once you're down to oh, let's say the final inning or two, once again you've got to put runners on base and again, make sure at least one is in scoring position, then strikeout or ground out into a rally-killing double play. This way the game remains exciting but the result, a loss, is easily achievable.

And that is how you make a Mets Typical Loss.

And voila, Brewers 4 Mets 2.