camera got them all
nothing's shocking...
showed me everybody
naked and disfigured
nothing's shocking..."
--Jane's Addiction, Ted, Just Admit it
*****
The Mets are the girl who stops returning your calls, deletes your emails unread, pretends she doesn't know you when you see her on the street until gradually, day by day, it sinks in that hey, this girl isn't into you anymore.
And so have the Mets, told us, by actions, deeds and performances, that hey, they just aren't into keeping this season interesting for us anymore.
What else could explain 10 losses in 13 games during the most important stretch of the season? Granted, all but three of those games were on the road but the wildcard playoff spot isn't awarded for best excuses, it's awarded for most victories.
Let's face it, Arizona and 32 runs in two days was our season's orgasm - it's been over for weeks and it's only now that we've figured it out.
(Mets reach metaphorical orgasm, 24th August 2005 v. Diamondbacks and it's been nothing but petty little arguments ever since...)
*****
Last night was a 5-0 shutout against the NL's first 20 game winner, now 21 game winner, Chris Carpenter. He allowed only three hits and struck out seven over seven shutout innings and kept the game quietly out of reach from the first pitch onward.
Kris Benson was able to keep it knotted at zero for until the 6th inning when Albert Pujols, arguably the best hitter in baseball, pounded his 38th homer of the season to make it 1-0.
Knowing the Mets were never going to crawl back from such a deficit, Benson then allowed a pair of singles around a pair of groundouts and the next thing you know it was 2-0 and it wasn't until mercifully, after another walk, that he faced Carpenter himself to end the inning.
So naturally, the Mets spirit broken, the floodgates opened in the 7th. Pujols hit another homer (#39) and after the Kaz Man booted a grounder to put another man on, Benson was removed after 107 some odd pitches for the rookie with the maniacal minor league buzz about him, Tim Hamulack, was led in as the proverbial sacrificial virgin and promptly allowed John Gall's first career homerun to make it 5-0.
Prayer in the 8th when Carpenter was removed for Al Reyes?
No chance. Ramon Castro and Victor Diaz struck out swinging in what must have been a paen to the season, as in, "let's get the hell out of this place as quickly as possible, I'm already embarassed enough as it is by Atlanta..."
And oh, just so you know, Carlos Beltran had two enormously meaningless hits and drove in zero runs to raise his season's batting average to .271. I will forgive, but I will not forget Carlos Beltran's three at bats during this road trip with the money on the line and his absolute and indisputable failure in each one. The Man let us down so don't bother showing us peacock feathered hits in games now that the season is virtually over and meaningless. Don't bother at all. Let yourself sink into a slump, a hitless continuation just so you can't point out your numbers at the end of the season and pretend you've done well.
Well, c'mon, in truth, the guy is still out there playing with a fractured face so lack of clutch or not, Carlos still gets bonus points for trying...
So, down they go, pushovers, the psychological makeup of the team in disarray, utter collapse.
*****
Hey Mets fans, buck up! At least we aren't as miserable as the Yankees, in the heat of a race for the AL Wildcard, getting their heads handed to them by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. We may lose consistently but at least we lose to the best teams in the league...
*****
Jae Seo becomes sacrificial lamb number 71 as the Mets, having stumbled all the way back down to .500 will now battle to keep the season at a mediocre level. A prolonged losing streak just might sour whatever shiny little gadgets this season has provided for us.
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