Ok, enough of the good news. Let's resume our death watch of the New York Mets, once the indominable force of the NL East now a patient etherised upon a table.
So, did you hear the one about the Nats scoring scoring 8 earned runs and getting 11 hits in less than 5 innings against John Maine? A real bloody knee-slapper, that one. Almost as funny as the one about those same Nats scoring 12 runs on 13 hits the night before that. Stop! You're making me piss myself with laughter! I mean let's be realistic, you're talking about a team that lost 83 out of 149 games they'd played up until they met the Mets. Not even the Phillies...well, nevermind.
And Maine performed his characteristic Unmechanical Maine Meltdown in the 5th yet again for all his adoring fans; you can almost set your bloody watch by it by now, I give it a 75, Mr Clark, I like the lyrics but it is hard to dance to...
Classic Unmechanical Maine Meltdown...
"I thought he was throwing the ball pretty good, actually," the typically delusional Willie Randolph said of Maine's near-meltdown the inning before that and exploring his rationale for leaving Maine in the Game. "I didn't think he was losing it." Of course you didn't, Willie. But then again, you keep summoning Guillermo Mota, Public Enemy Number One, game after game as if one of these nights the residue of auld steroid use is going to kick back in.
But if you really want to have a larf, consider this:
"Moises Alou, who's missed a significant chunk of the season because of a severely strained left quadricep, was removed from the game on Tuesday night because of what the Mets termed as "tightness" in the same muscle."
No, this is Comedy Central folks because just when you thought you'd enough funny stories for one day, you realise that the Mets new number one nemesis not only won AGAIN but won it in the 14th inning, their 6th in a row, coupled with the Mets enemic 5-game losing streak means the LEAD IS DOWN TO ONE AND A HALF GAMES.
For those keeping score at home:
Countdown to Chokedown.