Those Beards Aren't Getting Any Shorter; Mets Drop Series To Miserable D'Backs

First of all, where is David Wright's beard?

I know he's a kid, or looks like a kid and he's got a helium voice and doesn't always hit in the clutch but by crikey, when your team has pledged to grow beards until you reach .500 and you fall 5 games below .500 against one of the worst teams in the league, a team even worse than your own team, you expect a manchild like David Wright to grow a flippin beard in solidarity. I don't even see any peachfuzz on his face.

It ent David Wright's beard, that's for sure.

*****

Now as for the game itself, a bucket to puke in will suffice.

For one, Nelson Figueroa, who was on fire with Buffalo (let that be a lesson, a la Cory Sullivan: being hot in Buffalo don't mean jack in the Major Leagues so the next time in our pathetic yearning for answers we point out what so and so is doing in Buffalo, don't listen. Buffalo doesn't hold any answers for this sad sack collective. Buffalo is a wasteland of talentless wanna-bees.

Six runs and 10 bloody hits in less than two innings work?! Not even Ollie Perez is that bad. Let's say that again in case it isn't clear: Not even Ollie Perez is that bad. Now you KNOW you're bad.

You've got to believe he was tipping his pitches and Arizona scouts were privvy to it.

Or maybe Figueroa just sucks? 2nd pitch of the game, double to leadoff hitter Drew, next guy up, Gerardo Parra, singles the run home, 4 pitches into the game, down 1-0.

And how about Jerry's pep talk post-match mumbling about how the Mets showed character by not quitting after they went down 6-0.

Yup, that's what we want to hear. Little chats about showing character. The kiss of death.

when is this kid a free agent?

Mark Reynolds hit nearly as many homers in 3 games at Shitty Field as any other Met all season. Sad, sick, pathetic lack of power from the Mets. Even Miquel Montero hit a homer, another tee-off off of Figueroa.

Yes, the Mets rallied back, Jerry's right, the team showed character and at least kept the game remotely interesting even if in the back of your mind you knew all along the comeback was doomed. True, I didn't think even the Mets were so pathetic they'd lose three out of four to the Diamondbacks at home but in case you thought the Mets had any prayer in making it to the post-season, this series should have set you straight.

But guess what? Like everyone else, I don't care about moral victories. Can we sneak David Wright in past the waiver wire and trade for someone with some facial hair for crissakes?