Mets Fortunes Finally Turning

Well it's taken all of a miserable season but it's finally beginning to look like the Mets terrible fortunes are turning the corner.

Two days ago, to great relief the Mets found out there were "only" bone chips to be removed out of Johan Santana's elbow and "only" the rest of the season would be lost.


Time to take the rest of your miserable career off, buddy.

Yesterday, to everyone's vast relief it was revealed that Oliver Perez FINALLY requires season-ending knee surgery. The only caveat of course is that the surgery won't be career-ending but when the doses of good news are finally dripping down I guess we shouldn't get too greedy.

Taking his place on the roster is the venerated Lance Broadway, who if you recall was the fodder we got from the White Sox in return for Ramon Castro. Ramon is hitting a whopping .192 for the White Sox, one of the few players in history who isn't doing better once he left the Mets.

Broadway of course, the logical candidate for recall, was 5-9 with a 6.17 ERA for the Buffalo Bison. Bison fans, if there are any left, will be relieved to see him go no doubt.



And of course you must have stayed up to watch that Chinese water torture of a baseball game, watching the Mets drop another to the Marlins in what would appear to be to the naked eye, an entirely meaningless game for both.

Do you know how many showed up at the idiotically named "Land Shark Stadium" to watch these two Nowhere Teams do battle?

Just over 16,000.

Now from the looks of the stands, half of that number left after the first pitch because god knows there's plenty better to do in Miami on a Wednesday night than watching one squad of minor league losers play what looks at first glance like a semi-pro team.

The Marlins had Mets killah Josh Johnson, now 13-3 with a 3.04 ERA for the season, on the mound and they had the monstrous Hanley Ramirez with his .365 batting average, 19 homers and 85 RBIs.

The Mets had Brian Schneider and his prodigious .179 batting average in the order and Mr Up and Mr Down, Mike Pelfrey on the mound with his 1-3 record for August and his 5.10 ERA in August.

A real battle of heavy weight champions.


The Mets are under arrest for incompetence

Ok, the Marlins are exceedingly better than the Minor League Mets but only just. Well ok, they've got 10 more wins already this season but really, let's face it, this isn't a team to excite you. Not in August 7 games out of first and 4 1/2 behind in the wild card chase.

Now that I think about it, why WERE there so few fans in the stadium? Because nobody wants to watch the Mets, the Laughingstocks of Baseball, suffer another season-ending injury?



The one thing we can say with certainty, so long as the Marlins play in a stadium named after a 1970s Saturday Night Live parody, at least the Mets cannot lay claim to having the absolute dumbest fucking name for a baseball stadium perhaps in the history of baseball. The Marlins have that one nailed.