Many Questions, Few Answers

Ungoing rubbish monologue for what the hope is will be the Mets' clinching victory...


23:55, England -

I can feel the blood moving through my veins, I think. Or my hair growing, I can't tell.

23:58 - what does it say about baseball that the Mets theme song on the FAN employs banjos? And boy, I have to confess, I just can't wait for more commercials!

"I was buried in debt with no way of knowing how I was going to get out..."
"One call can literally save you thousands of dollars..."

00:02 - This is a Pedro warm-up to the post season, a spring training to late April.

00:08

First pitch, 65 degrees, Howie Rose. It's almost like a script from the auld Don Ho show....

00:12 - 1-2-3. Let the crescendo build slowly. I'm still so bombarded by commercials I think my head won't stop spinning until the 3rd inning.

00:14

60-80 pitches for Pedro. How do they know he'll be that efficient, ha!

Pedro wearing a wrap to protect his left calf.

00:32

Green tries a head-first slide into first to no avail, still 2-0 Pirates.

00:37

Oops, Pedro throws it wild...

00:42

I yearn for skiving work and going to a day game at Shea...

00:48

"Nobody in the world sells more real estate than ReMax" - what a comforting thought.
If the Mets clinch tonight, it'd be two days earlier than 1986.
The earliest ever for the Mets.
Almost as early as 1962.

00:52

Sanchez has his 48th double of the year. Christ, that's alot. But only second place and only in the National League. What are these kids smokin?

00:58

Fan interference, Pirates lead 3-0.

00:59

hey is this a pennsylvania thing for pedro? 4-0 Pittsburgh.

MIDNIGHT

Pirates, six base hits in the first three innings.

01:09

Off Grolsch to Guinness. Gary Cohen is frightened about Pedro's calf. Imagine what Pedro's calf thinks.

01:20

For you younger fans who don't know...

01:23

Gary Cohen is out of hand tonight. I think he's taken steroids before the broadcast or something.

01:23

Hey John Goodman is doing Dunkin Donuts commericals! What's next, Gumby doing pretzel commercials?

01:27

Two hit-batsman already. It must be a conspiracy. Not hit with a breaking ball.

Pirates are outhitting the Mets 7-1.

The children are the parents. The proletariats are the governors.

01:35

yeah = here we come! Go Go Reyes! 4-1.

01:40

LoDuca goes nuts! Tossed! If this doesn't fire the Mets up to clinch tonight, nothing will.

01:45

Heath Bell, whattawetryintolose?

01:47

it's a bad omen if we don't clinch tonight.

01:50

Ok, this will be a string of streaming, uh, consciousness or something...

Pedro crying.

If he's injured again, the Mets should cry as well as they hoist the flag of death above their out houses.

02:09

Mark this down, tired 7th inning Pirate pitcher begins the Mets rally...

02;09

Baddabingbaddabang, third double play induced. Fuck the rally monkey.

02:12

Isn't there an auld saying from 1880s baseball like, if you can't beat 'em, bean 'em.

02:16

Jayson Bay makes it 5-1. Fuck it. Put away the champagne, tear down the banners, beat up the hookers, fight the police when they come and make sure you get the right hand bed in the prison cell.

02:18

4th strikeout by Heath Bell, 4th strike out by Nady.


02:20

A come-from-behind victory would make it all the sweeter and symbolic.

De Felice 1 for 21 and what happens, he gets a double. Here we go. Reyes gets his triple, score 5-2. His 17th of the year.

2:26

Delgado strikes out swinging. One more inning to get it done.

02:30

Feliciano and Heath Bell in the same game?
What is this game fixed?

2:32

Nothing but a Foxwoods slot machine greed gambling commerical and then the Mets' last at-bats.

02:3

Tying run at the plate is Shawn Green. Are we falling out of love with himself already? 1 for last 17?

02:38

He struck out you stupid fuck. You'll have to clinch the world series for me to forgive that, diamondback.