5.7.09

If You Think This Is Bad, Just Wait 'Til Ollie Arrives

"Well, you know Ollie," manager Jerry Manuel said. "Ollie is not a command guy, so to speak. He is a guy that has control, but not necessarily command."

We interrupt a second consecutive humiliating loss to the Phillies to bring you the exciting news that one loser (Tim Redding) is going to be replaced in the starting rotation by one of the more epic losers in recent Mets history, the Jorge Julio of Mets starters, none other than Oliver Perez.

Go ahead and laugh. Laugh out loud. Slap your knee, roll on the floor, hold your side, let your teeth fall out you laugh so hard.

And on 4th of July, the Mets caused more anguish and emotional upset. Not more than ever before, my god, those days have long passed; this is a terminal patient you're now just waiting would die already so you can get on with your life, these Mets.

Yesterday, another defensive debauchery perfectly emblematic of why this team, injuries or not, is going nowhere fast.

You could make the argument, if say, you were the manager and you had no other explanation to save your job, point out that these guys, most of them, are playing out of position because of all the injuries.

But you'd be lying because we aren't talking about being a superstar, we're talking about catching simply fucking pop ups. And since we're being truthful, how was David Wright playing out of position?

The season has again turned another surreal corner, one of many to follow until, as you will certainly see, interest wanes and people simply stop paying attention to the Mets.

And by then of course, the relief will be only in the absence of that pain, no longer having to watch this pathetic collective.

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