What The Hell Will Omar Do About The Pitching?

In a weak effort to see what, if any prospects there are to resolve the dismal prospects for the 2010 Mets and in particular, the shambles that is currently the pitching staff, I've unearthed the following:

The Mets, to put in it in the local parlance, are fecked.

Although Chewy hasn't pitched in organised baseball in several years, he is rumoured to be on Omar's radar having recently thrown two innings in the Inter Galactic Winter Leagues this month...

First of all, what they desperately need as you all know, is at minimum, starting pitching, ideally, a strong number two starter and innings eater.

Newsflash: there isn't one available and the one guy, Jon Garland, who at least qualifies as an inning eater (though certainly not a number two starter), is rumoured to want to stay on the West Coast.

What that means is that barring some unforeseen miracle, as in ANY of the Mets starters not named Johan Santana suddenly learning how to pitch more than five or six innings, pitch them effectively and stay injury-free, the Mets rotation will be as big a mess this season as in 2009.

Of course you could make the argument that Punching Bag Perez, Fragility Maine, and Mouthguard Mike cannot POSSIBLY be as ineffective, injured and pathetic as they were last season but those kinds of thoughts should be reserved for the optimistic mewlings of Spring and the last time I looked out the window, even in England, we're still buried in snow.

So we're back to the issue of A)rubbish returning rotation B)no one on the radar who might make a legitimate number two.

Now, on the basis of Omar's track record, I would suggest the likely signings to "bolster" the staff will be Noah Lowry, who hasn't pitched in the Majors since 2007, Odalis Perez, who didn't pitch in the majors at all last season, and Mark Prior, who hasn't pitched in the majors since 2006.

If that doesn't get you excited, how about re-signing Livan Hernandez or asking John Smoltz to come here and perform a season-ending Tom Glavine imitation? Oh right, the Mets won't be close enough in 2010 to have a "must win" Game 162.

Why not Jenny Finch? Unlike any of the usual suspects she would look fantastic in a Mets uniform. She also sometimes plays first base, which, considering the current first base prospects can only be of benefit and let's face it, her chances of succeeding are about as good as any of the other pitchers whose names are being bandied about as potential Met signings. And she'd come for a helluva lot less money.

The only catch? Well, if you go by her blog, it would appear she's a bit wrapped up in motherhood at the moment.

Next stop, huge overpayment for Joel Pineiro....


jdon said...

Ah, but Omar says that the mets were being picked to go to the world series before 2009 with this pitching staff, you silly goose. That is his argument for everything. Sports Illustrated, the world's dumbest and worst sports mag, picked the mets. Duh! Omar would like a pat on the back for assembling the 209 mets. What he really needs is a kick in the ass.

Jaap said...

thing is, you could pat him on the back with a bat at full swing and he still wouldn't be any smarter.

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