15.10.05

Closing For The Winter

Sad news revealed to avid ABA readers this morning when Jaap Stijl, founder and head (only) writer for Archie Bunker's Army announced he will miss the majority of the postseason and the better part of the winter with a combination of writer's block, repetitive motion strain and no telephone line through which to run the internet.

"Naturally we are disappointed not to have been able to finish out the season," Stijl's publicist, Vladimir Kopf mentioned to reporters at a smoked-filled press conference this afternoon. "Mister Stijl was looking forward to the rampant speculation of which player would be targeted for a billion dollar free agent payoff, which trades would be pondered and executed, who the Mets will get to fill in next season's closer role and who will be their first baseman, among other issues."

Stijl, who currently lives in an auld Roman market town in Warwickshire, could not be reached for immediate comment on the news but has authored several hand-written notes on the matter. It appears he greatly regrets not having been able to appear on the Mets end of the season roundtable and to make end-of-the-season assessments and grades of each player like so many other bloggers in the last of the month.

Rumours that Stijl had entered a substance abuse programme or was undergoing deprogramming from a frog-worshipping cult were strongly denied as absurdist fodder created by news-hungry jackals prone to speculation.

"Mr Stijl is off for the reasons stated, there is no hidden agenda."

Stijl will return sporadically to this website during the coming months and when special Mets news merits and will return full time again shortly before the onset of Spring Training.

To all his readers he wishes a speedy recover from the inevitable depression sure to overcome them and all and reassures them that his time on the Writer's DL will be over before they know it.

7 comments:

Kyle in Newport News said...

Thanks for everything, Mr. Stijl.

adenzeno said...

Hope all is well- I really enjoy reading your stuff-stay warm in that Irish winter

Metstradamus said...

We'll keep the stove warm in anticipation for your impending return, bigger and better than ever.

Jaap said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jaap said...

All I want for xmas is an infallible closer, a slugger with Pujols-like numbers and two or three Cy Young winners. (well, we've got two, so I'll settle for a third Cy Young winner and a leadoff hitter reminiscent of Rickey Henderson in his prime...

Thanks all for reading and commenting.

Anonymous said...

For the quintessential pandora sale Indian bride, the perfect pandora jewellery uk Indian bridal jewelry enhances her looks as much as her make-up does. Her beauty as the blushing bride is amplified not only by the pandora shop kohl around her eyes pandora 2010 and the different hues on her eyelids but also by the eye-catching Indian bridal jewelry that adorns her entire person, from head to toe.Although much of pandora jewelry the Indian bridal jewelry an Indian bride could wear is dependent on the new pandora beads size of her budget, she usually sees to it that she is bedecked with the pandora bead most lavish ones that she could lay her hands on. This is actually part of her presenting herself not only to her husband but also to the public. Because of pandora beads sale this, an Indian bride would want her Indian bridal jewelry custom-designed.An Indian bride would have her Indian bridal jewelry made, based on her wedding pandora glass beads trousseau, especially on its dominant colors. The type of precious metals and stones that will be used in making the jewelry should blend with the colors of pandora style beads her wardrobe.Indian bridal jewelry is not just one piece of jewelry worn by the Indian bride.

Anonymous said...

It is made up of cheap panadora different pieces that pandora jewery complements and blends with each other to create that perfect look of an Indian bride. The Maangtika, the nose ring, the earrings, the bangles, the necklace, the anklets pandora jewerelly and toe rings make up the entirety of pandora jewlerry the complete Indian bridal jewelry.The Maangtika is the pandora charms and beads most traditional and most essential part of the Indian bridal jewelry. Apart pandora charms from the necklace, the Maangtika is the most noticeable piece pandora charms uk of the Indian bridal jewelry adorned on an Indian bride. It is worn on the bride' head and is designed to be unique for each bride. While its color and design largely depend on the colors of the bride's outfit, it is cheap pandora charms usually made of precious stones like pearls and diamonds. It has pandora charms sale a centerpiece that is exquisitely designed and sits on bride's forehead and is usually attached by a string that runs to the back of the bride's head. Another essential part of the Indian bridal jewelry pandora charms 2010 is the necklace. This piece is usually very eye-catching with a design that is in tune with the other pieces of Indian bridal jewelry adorned on the rest of the bride's body.