Just Bring Me A Bucket, Mr Glavine

Wow. I thought Tom Glavine always saved his most egregious performances for his old teammates, the Atlanta Braves. Turns out I was wrong. He's got a whole other form of mephitis to coax out for perhaps the entire 2005 season and the end of his career.

Of course, if you don't consider Tom Glavine stinking up Shea to be news how about Jose Reyes drawing his first walk in 119 plate apearances!

Glavine started the festivities of a vile 10-3 thrashing by surrendering a three run homer to Met nemesis Pat Burrell (27 homers against the Mets) in the first inning and things didn't get any better from there. By the fourth inning, when Glavine was finally yanked out of a game he didn't appear to belong in, he'd been charged with eight runs which further extended his distended ERA to a breathtaking 7.04, to go hand-in-hand with a 1-4 record. He is becoming The Anti-Pedro which is not something you want from your number two starter. At least he's still doing better than Kevin Brown of the Yankees who, after getting dismantled by the Devil Rays is now 0-4 with a very hairy, Glavinesque 8.25 ERA of his own.

Then again, perhaps Glavine should take a page from Pedro's book and make sure that Mike Piazza is conveniently injured or "sore" or "beat up" or "tired" whenever he's scheduled to take the mound. It was after all, Mighty Miserable Mike, he of the .205 batting average and arm like a squirt gun who dropped a foul tip that would have been strike three moments before Burrell launched his demoralising homer. But hey, Piazza did managed to throw someone out at second base to raise his total to four runners thrown out versus 20 successfully stealing on him.

Over just 93 pitches Glavine managed to give up six hits and six walks along with the eight runs and before the Mets had even had their at-bats in the bottom of the 4th inning they were already down 8-0. Not even the Phillies bullpen is bad enough to blow that kind of lead.

"I have a lot of faith in him," Manager Willie was forced to recite after last night's outing. "I'm never going to waver on Tommy Glavine. He told me he feels as strong as he's ever felt. It's just a matter of his location and his rhythm."

Oh, is THAT all? Hmmmm. Trouble with his location, let me see here, that certainly sounds familiar. Why, that sounds just like Victor Zambrano and Kaz Ishii! Perfect! A rotation of pitchers who can't throw a ball in the strikezone! And what is our Dear Mr Peterson getting paid for if it isn't getting his pitchers to throw pitches in the strikezone? Working on their self-sabotage release techniques?

Although Reyes earned his first walk of the season, he also struck out twice, as did Matsui and Monday's hero, Carlos Beltran. Six strikeouts by the first three hitters in the lineup and actually, the number eight hitter, the 0 for Eternity Victor Diaz, had three whiffs of his own for good measure, pretty much tells you what you need to know about a Met offense. More strikeouts than hits and 14 men left on base. How many times do you imagine Brett Myers strikes out 10 guys all by himself in one game? Let's take a conservative guess of never.

Of course, I jest. Last night Myers' third career game with at least 10 strikeouts, first since July 20, 2003, against Montreal and he's shaping up to be a solid second starter for the Phillies behind Lieber.

That the final score was "only" 10-3 is something to be proud of for Glavine's ineptitude was apparently contagious last night.

All except for the new posterchild for Heroic Effort, Cliff Floyd who hit his seventh home run of the season and extended his hitting streak to 19 games, the longest in the major leagues this season and the longest by a Met in five years.

For the rest of the Mets, this may as well have been a night off.

*****

In what may be cause for delight and rioting or just another harbinger of doom for the starting rotation, Kris Benson is scheduled to make his long awaited 2005 debut against the Phillies on Thursday afternoon. His mound opponent will be Vicente Padilla, RHP (0-3, 11.45) so there shouldn't be too much pressure on Benson.

As for tonight, Jae Seo gets another chance to beat the Phillies. Despite a career 2.78 ERA in five career starts against them, Seo never has beaten them, and they've beaten him three times, once 1-0.

Seo will face Randy Wolf who is 1-3 with a 6.52 ERA, 1-2 over his last three games alone, giving up 13 runs in 17 innings for an ERA of 6.88. But don't forget that Wolf has a 6-4 career mark and 3.23 ERA against New York and earned his only victory so far this year against us.

Last night Al Leiter earned his first win of the year for the Marlins, who slammed Atlanta and Mike Hampton, 11-6 to move back into first place.