The Cameron's Out of the Bag

Does it seem like only yesterday that the fragile 32 year old centerfielder formerly known as Mike Cameron volunteered to move to right field to accomdate Carlos Beltran IF (snickersnicker) the Mets actually signed him? Ha. Cameron, no doubt, believed there wasn't a snowball's chance in Omar's Dominican Republic that the Mets would sign Carlos Beltran, as did most of the baseball world and thus, believed he had nothing to lose by making such a proposition. Not only did he have nothing to lose, but he might look a good team player in the process.

Well, that little moment of myth-making can be laid to rest. That's right. Now, after being caught in a lie, the bitch wants to be traded. Apparently, he wasn't really willing to move to RF after all. It was all a practical joke. A simple misunderstanding. Apparently, he'd only been clearing his throat. Say it ain't so after all, Mr Cameron!

Tell us your offer wasn't just a stream of self-serving consciousness that you never had any intention of fulfilling. Tell us you weren't just mimicking ole Bernie Williams when he made the same offer a week before you in the Bronx on the only NYC team that anyone thought actually HAD a chance to sign Beltran. Oh, ye silly underestimator of the powers of Omar.

It's ok though. The admission comes at just the right time. And now that you've unhurled your bitter truth for all the world to see like Mike Cameron bunting on the box seat ledges of a Mets postseason you won't be around to adorn, don't let the door hit your in the arse on your way out. Think we can't find another self-serving 32 year old to sit on the DL for us?

And by the way, thanks for being bait to help us fill out a few spots on the backup roster and cut our payroll deep enough to free up cash for the other Carlos.

Whilst the Marlins woo Delgado, if the Mets can trade Cameron in a timely fashion, they can free up $14 million to help pay Delgado with. It's might be a long shot, but now that Cameron's opened his mouth to complain, at least it's a reasonable possibility.

I don't think there's any question who the Mets would rather have in the lineup.

Better still, moving Cameron will free up a spot in the outfield for a promising rookie now that Victor Diaz is beginning to blossom.

Diaz has 3 hits, a homer and 4 RBIs in just 5 at bats for Aguilas Cibaeña in the Dominican League playoffs. That's the same homerun and RBI production of the .414 hitting Hamstring Jose for the Gigantes in those same playoffs. Granted, that's the Dominican Winter League folks, not the World Series, but still, the promise has to be played out somewhere in the offseason, doesn't it then?

So thanks again, Mike Cameron. You've saved us uncountable headaches and several million. You hear that Cliff Floyd? Are you certain you still want to play leftfield or would you like a trade of scene as well, perhaps somewhere that has a spare DH spot on the roster?

*****

You can count Tony DeMarco as a loud voice of derision when it comes to how the Mets have spent their offseason so far. Oh dear, call the Sheriff, the Mets are spending too much and spending too foolishly! Oh my! The Mets want a Hall of Fame pitcher and a future Hall of Famer in centerfield and are willing to pay for it! Somebody call the cops!

Clearly, DeMarco has not been a Mets fan and does not understand the need for grasping at straws when it comes to flawed optimism. This offseason buys the Mets at least another two seasons of failure before we'll start to hate them again and the promise will be worth every penny.

At least the ominiscient Ken Rosenthal sees the wisdom in the Beltran signing, even if he misses the boat on Pedro (doesn't he know that without Pedro there is no Carlos?!) and guesses wrong on whether or not they'll need Delgado.

There's no accounting for the jealous minds rising to the surface. Is everyone afraid the baseball world will soon concentrate around the Evil Axis of the Bronx, Fenway and Shea?

And let's get another thing straight about the Mets' free agent spending: if you want to talk about foolish, talk about the Diamondbacks throwing money around like they were printing it themselves. How many serially-injured players can they toss a multi-year million dollar contract to before someone sane steps in and takes them away to the rubber rooms of fiscal responsibility?

And what about the Seattle Mariners? Does someone want to tell me the Mets made dumber moves than multi-year multi-millions for the likes of Adrian Beltre whose own team didn't think he could do it again, or overpaying by about $5 million a season for Richie Sexson and his all-or-nothing swing?

That's just for starters. Just imagine if any of these free agents could have stomached multi-years rotting away in Baltimore or in Detroit. Imagine how the foolish money would have flown by then. They might have been like Cincinnati tossing millions at a washout like Eric Milton not even the Yankees were dumb enough to pay the man for.

So as future reference to those whingers going on about the Mets and their foolish spending habits, save it. Save it for when they are the only team left standing and looking old and pathetic like the Yankees giving 100 year contract extensions to surly octagenerian pitchers who double as media baiters and clubhouse cancers. Save it for when you've wasted the last four years rooting for a team that does everything wrong and suddenly looks like it might be able to do something right again.

Just don't piss on our parade though, because the band is just getting warmed up.