Archie Bunker's Army

Considering the "upsurge" in reader responses, the fact that the Army had marched on to another house in the remote countryside which resulted a lack of wifi reception in addition waiting for a new broadband connection and thus, no Mets coverage, all for the last 5 days, seems to have gone almost unnoticed. However now that the Army is connected with civilisation once again, here's a brief summary of the highlights of what was missed: Pelfrey (0-6) doing his Anthony Young (0-16)impression 1. Revenge At Citizens Bank Park - Depending on whether your one of those glass half-empty or half-full sorts of people, you would view them Mets taking three out of four from the Phillies with either joy at the notion of revenge that saw the Phillies knocked back to give games from the NL East lead, or disappointment that after winning the first three, the Mets couldn't get the fourth in the series to make it a complete whitewash. Considering the state we believed the Mets to be i...

It's raining so much in England, it's flooding and chaos is about to burst. It's raining so much in Texas and Oklahoma, it caused the cancellation of the Heartland Flyer . At Shea last night, rain and monsoon-like rains were enough to get Tom Glavine win number 297 and end the game after six innings with the Mets having taken two out of three from the "Defending World Champion" Cardinals and earning their 5th win in their last 6 games. Running, before swimming 'round the bases. All it really took was David Wright's two-run homer in the first inning to give Anthony Reyes his 10th loss against Zero wins this season. Yeah, it's ok to make fun of that, no one will sue you for being politically incorrect. It ent a typo. Anthony Reyes is 0-10 for 2007. And I thought I was having a rough year. It didn't hurt that Carlos Gomez continued his month-long quest to steal Moises Alou's job in left field with another dazzling catch, this one in the 4th ...

The Extra Innings Gods Giveth and the Extra Innings Gods Taketh Away. One night after an 11th inning homer gave them their 4th victory in a row (and kept them unbeaten against the defending World Champion Cardinals, the Mets were set down, the bullpen let up and the Mets had an 11th inning loss under their belts. Whereas the bullpen had pitched 5 scoreless innings the night before, holding off the Cardinals long enough for Shawn Green to save the day, yesterday's humid, draining affair saw no such heroics. Predictably perhaps, Scott Schoeneweis was the primary culprit, the modus loserendi , so to speak. But Aaron Heilman , after getting the victory and throwing a scoreless inning the night before, he replaced Oliver Perez in the seventh and, for the first time this season, allowed an inherited runner to score. He allowed another run in the eighth, giving up four hits in a seven-batter sequence in parts of two innings. A rougher night watch the pen than pitching... Schoeneweis,...

Hard to believe it: three hits net two runs and another notch in the victory belt. Well, ok. Three hits, two walks and two Cardinal errors. Two lead off homers from unreliable sources: Carlos Gomez and Shawn Green . Pop goes the weasel - considering he is hitting only .192 in June... Amazing that whilst Moises Alou totters along into the eternity of the disabled list, Gomez has hit .322 in June. Amazing that upon six pitching-duel innings from Jorge Sosa ,wherein Sosa barely flinched, the Mets bullpen followed with five scoreless innings of relief not only to keep the Mets in the game but to oversee the victory, Heilman's 6th of the season. He may not be a starter, but he's got starter's numbers. Sosa, of course, was 0-1 last season with a 5.28 ERA pitching FOR the Cards rather than against them. And Smith , Feliciano , Wagner and Heilman , the local heroes, the quiet ones, for the night.

A sweep. Snap your fingers and just like that the angst, the sturm und drang is rapidly fading to be replaced by the auld, bold sense of entitlement the Mets and their fans have felt since their opening series sweep of the World Champions two months ago. After a white-knuckled, tight-fisted affair on Saturday the Mets, perhaps having reasserted themselves and deflated the A's simultaneously, made things as easy and as pleasing to the viewers' eyes as they had on Friday, this time coasting to a 10-2, sweep-inducing victory. All the good ingredients were at the ready. Is we happy or is we ent? Firstly, Carlos Delgado had a deserved seat on the bench. Considering his .139 career average against Kennedy, the A's lefty starter, it was a good idea. Even Carlos thought so allegedly: "If you're thinking about giving me a day off, this would be a good time." - jeez Carlos and miss the entertainment of watching you flail both at the plate and at with a glove of stone ...

Wow. After last night's 9th inning walkoff victory, the second in a row for the Mets, you are almost afraid to exhale lest the good news escape with the breathing and this latest, faintest sign of life from the patient is extinguished before it gains any momentum. As far as momentum-turners go, this game was a pretty quiet affair. With El Duque returning to form tossing 7 innings of six-hit, seven-K shoutout to keep the Mets in the game, a hurler oft-whispered to be offseason bait for the Mets, Joe Blanton, was pitching a gem of his own in the form of 8 shutout innings which saw only 5 Met hits. At the risk of hyperbole, perhaps the most magical moment of the season to date David Wright and Carlos Beltran provided 4 hits by themselves and it was David Wright's single, an off-kilter soft loop that scored an excruciatingly hopeful Ramon Castro and gave the Mets a 1-0 victory. Shockingly, the bullpen held form - Feliciano struck out Nick Swisher in the top of the 8th only to be ...

Good afternoon, you've reached the home of the 2007 World Champion NY Mets, how may I help you? Sorry? You're not getting excited about one stinking little victory over the Oakland A's? Let me put you on hold for a moment...

Does a day off help a struggling team to clear its collective head or does a day off merely allow the doubts and insecurities to multiply? In struggling to find reasons for optimism despite this horrific June, I thought about last season's World Series opponents, both of whom struggled mightily at points in the season, overcame those struggles and went on to reach (or quite nearly reach their goals.) The Cardinals had a seven-game lead with 12 games to go but wasted nearly all of it by losing 8 of 9 games towards season's end. A final, struggling push birthed them into the postseason and thereafter, look where they ended up. The Tigers had a massive, massive season last year but it also included an incredible nose dive that saw them lose 31 out of their final 50 games of the season and also saw them bounced from first place. They only made the post season via wild card and yet, was their season destroyed? Two other major factors in the Mets favour are that this season is stil...

Although it certainly isn't unprecedented, the Collapse of the Mets is beginning to exceed the patience of even the most optimistic of followers. Last night another loss to the Twins which made it their second in a row and resulted in another series lost, their sixth series lost in a row. Certainly after riding the high seas of expectation with such brilliance early in the season this three week collapse is now beginning to bear the hallmarks not of a temporary glitch, a stutter, a momentary illusion, but a flawed team that whilst once played above its head, is now suffocating under the weight of its own expectation incapable of righting its own path. 5 walks? No wonder he looks so laboured. Last night's 6-2 deafeat was not only the 14th loss of their last 18 games but was also significant for it coming with Oliver Perez on the mound. Perez had been the Mets staff ace of sorts having gone 5-2 following a Mets loss previously. Particular abhorrent was the fact that the Mets ...

(THIS ONE IN OUR MISERY, IS FOR SANCHEZ, LONE FAITHFUL READER OF THE ARMY:) We didn't lose, we just regained reality... The game isn't even over yet. Fuz Me Jedus Not even 'cross the Ocean is the game over despite the time differences and I'm reading 8-0. FOR THE HARD OF HEARING THAT IS EIGHT TO NOTHING. Sorry, now it's NINE to NOTHING You want grasping at straws? How about this? AT LEAST WE WEREN'T NO-HIT. Not today anyway. We did squeak out three hits AND FOUR FUCKING ERRORS And David Wright , spokemodel for the Armageddon, managed more errors than hits tonight. And the game isn't even over yet. I typed "stupid fucking losers" into google images and this is what came up: Why not me? And I could type one hundred or a thousand words about this every bit jab of pain of failure and if I were actually a Met, what would I do?

The Mets have done this before in June, winning the opening game of a series (once in Detroit and once in the Bronx) before weakly submitting to their desperate June destiny, but this one had a different feel. The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead. The Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead. Large Man with Dead Body: Yes he is. The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not. The Dead Collector: He isn't. Large Man with Dead Body: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill. The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm getting better. Large Man with Dead Body: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment. The Dead Collector: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations. The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I don't want to go on the cart. Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, don't be such a baby. The Dead Collector: I can't take him. The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel fine. Large Man with Dead B...

It's especially annoying when you make a special point of waking up just after 1 am simply to watch the Mets struggle and wriggle themselves deeper down into their hole as they did last night against the Yankees. Two consecutive bad outings by the two starters the Mets allege to count on most... So whilst the Yankees won their 5th straight series the Mets were busy losing their 5th straight series. 12 losses in 15 games is downright ugly and whilst the Mets are still managing to maintain a thin hold on their lead in the NL East, unless they turn things around fast, the taste of what once seemed like a very promising season could turn sour very quickly. The fruit that has been hanging from the bough like a promise is beginning to rot. Last night it was the fault of El Duque , six runs and seven hits over less than five innings of work was hardly what you would expect out of the number two starter and whilst both he and Glavine have pitched brilliantly at times this season, they ha...

For one night anyway the Mets could exhale but only for one night as they were dealt another shot to the solar plexus, this time with their "ace" on the mound. Wright sums up the frustration that is building by the game... Tom Glavine had his second straight rotten outing, keeping himself stuck on 295 victories through poor pitching rather than suffering at the hands of his own sickly run support. Perhaps worse still was the fact that Mets pitching in general surrendered three separate leads, 1-0 then 3-2 and finally 5-4 as they allowed the Yankees to score a pair of runs in five straight innings - even a brief awakening of Met bats wasn't enough to overcome that kind of pitching ineptitude. Yes, Glavine was dogged by 8 hits and 7 earned runs over a mere 4 innings to bring his record to a decidedly mediocre 5-5 on the season and raise his once-sterling ERA all the way up to 4.67. But equally disappointing was Guillermo Mota who continued his downward spiral off drugs. ...

Not so fast. 10 games without an extra base hit comes to an abrupt end. Remember the euphoria of shutting out the Tigers to open a big series following getting swept by the Phillies last week? After the five game losing streak that followed, I'm holding back until the Mets take the second game of this series before I start getting excited. Well, really excited, that is. Game-turner After all, snapping a Yankees 9-game winning streak, a Mets 5-game losing streak and stuffing Roger Clemens for his first loss of the season all in one game is bloody well exciting in itself. Just enough to top the Rocket Watching Jose Reyes run wild on the basepaths with three stolen bases, homer into right field off Clemens, add a pair of singles, one which drove in the other Mets run, to an overall dominating evening, was exicting. Carlos Gomez making a Chavez-like (or what it more reminiscent of Jeffrey Maier ?) grab to rob Miguel Cairo and then double Matsui off of second base to kill a poten...

Brad Penny's cousin watches last night's action with studied intent... For four innings, the Mets clung to a 1-0 lead. Jorge Sosa was sailing along through four having allowed only a lone single, locked in what appeared to be a pitcher's duel with Brad Penny . Wasn't he going to be ours one day? Of course, a pitcher's duel would imply both pitchers kept up the tight, steady pitching prowess for more than four innings. In the Dodger 5th, Sosa began by giving up a lead off homerun to the man hot on Henry Aaron's All-Time Homerun record, Wilson Betemit , the one hitting .223 but who has homered two nights on the trot. That Matt Kemp followed with a mere single rather than another homerun, I suppose we should be grateful for. And even more grateful when the next two batters were induced into striking out and sacrificing a runner. But a Rafael Furcal triple followed by a Juan Pierre single made it 3-1 rather quickly and straight away there was a putrid smell comi...

I seem to recall only last week the Mets hit three homers in a row against the Phillies and the Phillies came back to win the game anyway. Last night, the bottom of the Dodgers batting order (including the pitcher) hit three homers in a row on three pitches and the Mets were unable to manage even the tiniest whimper of protest in going down to another loss, their 8th in 9 games. What is this, the Little League World Series? Hong Kong Kuo pitches seven nearly-flawless innings AND hits his first MLB homer to boot? I mean four of the last six Mets to bat in the 8th and 9th inning against the Dodgers bullpen, struck out swinging. The idea of a game-winning rally seemed about as likely as Rupa Mehta taking up chain-smoking . So, who's to blame today? Well, John Maine , not only for allowing the three weakest Dodger hitters to hit three consecutive homers on three consecutive pitches but also for popping up on a bunt attempt with one out and a man on to kill a rally in the 5th, is cert...

Wow, after such a euphoric beginning, what a miserable, bloody stretch. Is there a second gunman from the window shooting down our dreams or the Mets merely shooting themselves in the foot? Lose two of three to the D-bags at home. Get swept by the Phillies at home. Lose two of three to the Tigers and now this: losing the opener of their series against the Dodgers. Willie knows that second spot in the batting order is sweet nestled between Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran - isn't that why Shawn Green returning from the DL and returning to LA, was slotted there and got two hits, including an RBI single AND stole a base? Well that's the highlight reel, folks. El Duque tossed the work of mere mortals after two consecutive beaming outings, the Mets returned to scratching out runs like an inmate scratches out tiny little openings in the prison wall eventually hoping to build a tunnel and the Mets lost 5-3, their 8th loss in 10 games. But look, the first two months of this season wer...

Hey, can you blame him? I mean how many games in a row has Tom Glavine , in his quest for 300, pitched almost immaculately only to see a lack of run support by his team lead to another painful loss? So Glavine let loose a long and loud fart of a pitching performance in protest. A sort of throw your hands up, there's no dog in the room to blame, open all the windows, run for the hills sort of stinker that reminds us all how much very excellent starting pitching has been wasted in this recent tailspin stretch. Glavine clears the dugout with a stink bomb In this 15-9 beating, Glavine allowed nine runs and 11 hits against him whilst recording just 13 outs of his own. But hey, let's all look on the bright side. The Mets scored lots of runs again. Must be the hitting slump is over. Replaced by the starting pitching slump, the inevitable flounder, early-summer swoon after so many weeks of blessed starting pitching. This is where the real test of the bullpen will take place. Yes, De...

A day after the Mets were back on the winning track, after they'd become the first team to shut the defending AL Champ Tigers out all season, they were back glumly in the loss column following a miserable 8-7 loss, their 5th in 6 games. On the bright side, perhaps even as they continue to await the return of Shawn Green and Moises Alou , the offense scored more than 3 runs for the first time in a week. But those injuries have been a convenient excuse for the Mets' first real rocky streak this season. The truth is, had the bullpen maintained its stature over the last week, they'd still have won more games than lost. As it was, for a rare change, it was the starting pitching of Oliver Perez that conspired to keep the Mets out of this game. Pitching like a shot-putter for a day... Just a half inning after Jose Reyes' well-timed two-out, two-run single that tied the game in the 5th inning, Perez gave the Tigers a two-run lead after only three batters. Perez finished b...

You can say what you like but this team, built for the road, has it's home away from home, its silky paradise between the thighs of other women. "our revolution will not happen between these thighs your revolution will not happen between these thighs the real revolution ain't about booty size the Versaces you buys or the Lexus you drives" - Juice It will happen away from Shea. As per the 2006 Collective Bargaining Agreement, the league that wins the 2007 All-Star Game in San Francisco will control home field advantage in this year's World Series. So root root root this July for the American League, because that's where you'll want Game 7 to be played, on the road, in front of hostile crowds, if you're a Mets fan. We ain't winnin it at home. On the road, Sosa Shines and the bullpen doesn't blow it. Or maybe it's just out of the NL East. Say what you like but the road to the World Championship of baseball will not go through Shea. Not if th...