Archie Bunker's Army

It's pitchers and catchers soon. Ironically, the Mets don't seem to have much of either and those that they do have are full of question marks; Puntos de Interogación Iniciales and Puntos de Interrogación Finales. In other words, the off season was remarkably similar to the 2009 season; dollops of delusional, wishful thinking. I think you definitely stand pat with last year's rotation. After all, Santana says he's better and we should always believe what the Mets organisation and willing athletes publically declare about their injuries. That means he'll probably win 30 games this season to avoid being thrown too far off track by last season's premature ending. Of course, he's a year older as well. And can we really believe his physical woes are over with a simple elbow surgery, bone chip removal surgery? His return has been almost too easy. You've got to wonder if the simple surgery was done to put off an inevitable, career-threatening sur...

I like it when the word "intangibles" is the best word you can find to describe a new Mets signing. It makes my heart flutter with excitement. Who needs Orlando Hudson when you've got intangibles? I'm reminded of Donald Rumsfeld ruminations on the matter: "There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know." Frank Catalanotto is one of those things we don't know we don't know and yet another reason, along with the signing of Fernando Tatis and Josh Fogg that we don't need to know what we don't know because we don't even know that we don't know it yet. 2010 Mets Promotional Poster can finally be revealed I mean Frank Catalanotto could make a great bench coach for the Buffalo Bisons. Just think how valuable that could be to Buff...

The key man to Major League Baseball's 2010 season has finally decided on which team is the lucky winner in the Fernando Tatis Sweepstakes . After months of nail-biting competition, the NY Mets finally emerged as the victors, securing the signature of baseball's most coveted player and virtually guaranteeing their first World Series appearance since 2000. YES! The man who can walk and somehow balance a batting helmet on his head at the same time is nearly a Met...

One can only imagine, watching the parade of free agents either ignore the Mets or be ignored by the Mets, that there is an ongoing Free Agent Conspiracy meant to disable any early Spring hope Mets fans might be silly enough to feel inspired by as the doldrums of winter rattle on. Give me happiness or...Give me Mets... Granted, each free agent pitching pursuit came with his own set of problems. Ben Sheets is injury-prone. Randy Wolf was overpaid (3 years $30 million to the Brewers who are becoming the Mets of the Midwest having given Willie Randolph and Rick Peterson jobs), Joel Pineiro's name was too confusing too spell plus he wanted to get paid on the basis of a career year he's not likely to repeat (yes, before last season, his ERAs in the previous five seasons: 5.15, 4.33, 6.36, 5.62, 4.67...) Then you had Jon Garland going to the Padres for pennies which was the signing the Mets are going to regret not making all season. Not that Garland is going to win th...

Well since there appears to be a day or two pause in the incessant march of incompetence in the Met front office have some Tom Waits instead:

I've always just assumed Omar was going to sit pat and point out best case scenarios rather than get down to adding some shade and depth to the starting rotation. I mean, not dealing with problems and taking the most impractically optimistic position is his speciality, is it not? So I wasn't too enamoured with any of the rumours. Until this one . Actually, it's not even a rumour, it's just an observation. Work horse starter for a rotation that chocka with question marks and guys who rarely pitch very far out of the 5th inning. For a second, I almost got excited. Then I remembered that Beltran is already going to miss the first month of the season and predictably, the Mets front office fumbled even something as simple as surgery in spectacular fashion. At least they are consistently incompetent. You just know you needn't bother raising your hopes and can instead raise the white flag before the season has even started.

I'm going to enroll in the school of thought that says let's piss off the guy who pretends to be the team leader but bunts with men on base instead of going for the multi-run homer . Please let Carlos Beltran play mad. He owes the team some leadership. Being content hasn't worked. maybe being mad will.

In a weak effort to see what, if any prospects there are to resolve the dismal prospects for the 2010 Mets and in particular, the shambles that is currently the pitching staff, I've unearthed the following: The Mets, to put in it in the local parlance, are fecked. Although Chewy hasn't pitched in organised baseball in several years, he is rumoured to be on Omar's radar having recently thrown two innings in the Inter Galactic Winter Leagues this month... First of all, what they desperately need as you all know, is at minimum, starting pitching, ideally, a strong number two starter and innings eater. Newsflash: there isn't one available and the one guy, Jon Garland , who at least qualifies as an inning eater (though certainly not a number two starter), is rumoured to want to stay on the West Coast. What that means is that barring some unforeseen miracle, as in ANY of the Mets starters not named Johan Santana suddenly learning how to pitch more than five or six innings,...

You could call the Mets 2009 season a nightmare. But that would be giving the somnambulant front office more excuses to play with. The Mets 2009 season was disgusting. It was disgusting enough to scare yours truly off baseball for the last few months of the season. It was disgusting enough that the disgusting taste is still in our mouths, months later and judging by the fact that Omar is still the GM, Jerry is still the manager and the same heartless, injury-prone core is meant to carry the team despite all the times it failed so miserably in the past, Mets fans had better get used to the taste of shit because shit sandwiches are about all the Mets are going to be serving in 2010. Can you really get excited about the signing of Jason Bay , the baseball GM equivalent of beans on toast ? Jason Bay would make a reasonable DH or maybe even a first base conversion but left field in the spacious ShittyField is a near-guarantee to a return of the Cosmic Baseball Fielding Clown we watch...

endless dysfunctionality

I WILL be back. And so will the Mets. Rah rah with my pig flu pom poms. With this blood I do rededicate myself to the parody of a Mets fan.

I suppose it's self-evident; the lack of daily updates or comments are indicative of a general malaise that no young call-up, no veteran return and certainly no series of meaningless games against division rivals can alleviate. Seriously, are we to get excited about the 10th homer of the season? David Wright's two homers in one game against the Phillies to reach the big 10 milestone, is nothing but a reminder of how few homers he's hit this season, how little the game itself meant, perhaps a blessing in disguise, sparing us of another September Collapse . Yes, a come-from-behind victory over the hated Phillies in most seasons and in most circumstances would have been cause for righteous joy, unbridled euphoria and instead, we can only yawn and scratch and think yeah, so what? Because that is where we are in this miserable season. Not even a pair of homers by Wright, a come-from-behind victory and a homer in the first inning by Carlos Beltran , another too-little-too-late ...

I suppose if you'd looked at the promotional scheme for the season back in April or even May you might have imagined that even something as exciting K-Rod Bobblehead Day would have taken a back seat to the heat of the pennant race and that maybe K-Rod's 30th save of the season would be the cause for great relief or celebration. Hell, K-Rod probably thought as much himself. Instead, as we know, a simply meaningless early September game pairing easily the two most disappointing teams in the National League and perhaps in ALL of baseball. Why isn't this guy a Mets target? Watching the Cubs is like holding up a mirror to the Mets but for the fact that they didn't lose half their team to injuries this season. And of course, the Cubs are already talking about having someone like Chone Figgins on their radar to sign in the offseason . Who have the Mets got on their radar? Re-signing Carlos Delgado to a long-term contract? Ok, the Mets won yesterday, whoop. They beat th...

It's as though the minute Carlos Zambrano was out of the game the Mets came to life. Only Super Sully could solve Big Z last night... Other than a solo homer by Scott Sullivan to give them a 1-0 lead they held until Angel Pagan let a pop up drop in front of him for a double (which was actually an out considering the ump blew the call on Francouer's bullet to 2nd base that should have rendered a slow-moving Milton Bradley out), the Mets' Batting Order of Mediocrity had been predictably silent. Fortunately, the Cubs, whose own batting order is equally mediocre, were equally silent, even in a bases-loaded nobody out situation in the 7th when Lou pinch hit for Zambrano like a fool and watched the inning dither away . And by the time Zambrano was gone in the bottom of the 8th, the score was knotted at 1-1 and the Cubs bullpen was ripe for attack. Especially with John Grabow , shattered in every appearance at Shitty Field, on the mound. Tatis pinch hitting for Murphy , sin...

I can't say as I really care that Pat Misch avoided pitching in a 13th consecutive loss without a victory for his team to avoid a rather ignominious start to his Major League career. Misch officially ent pisch no more with his first career victory Sure, it's good to see the guy pitch his second consecutive quality start for the Mets since arriving off the waiver wire from San Francisco but let's face it, watching this Nowhere Man pitch a meaningless game for the Mets in the beginning of September only reminds us all that at least this season there can't be a September collapse. Nor can I find much comfort in the too-little-too-late news that Carlos Beltran is inching his way back to recovery . After all, much like David Wright's return from concussion the night before, it only underscores the waste and futility of the hideously injury-prone 2009 season. Even if Wright went 3 for 4 with 3 RBIs and showed encouraging signs that he won't be plate-shy after gett...

Well it's taken all of a miserable season but it's finally beginning to look like the Mets terrible fortunes are turning the corner. Two days ago, to great relief the Mets found out there were "only" bone chips to be removed out of Johan Santana's elbow and "only" the rest of the season would be lost. Time to take the rest of your miserable career off, buddy. Yesterday, to everyone's vast relief it was revealed that Oliver Perez FINALLY requires season-ending knee surgery. The only caveat of course is that the surgery won't be career-ending but when the doses of good news are finally dripping down I guess we shouldn't get too greedy. Taking his place on the roster is the venerated Lance Broadway , who if you recall was the fodder we got from the White Sox in return for Ramon Castro . Ramon is hitting a whopping .192 for the White Sox, one of the few players in history who isn't doing better once he left the Mets. Broadway of course, th...

The good news is Johan Santana gets the rest of the season off. Now he'll have time to find a replacement for that ridiculous pimp coat... C'mon, we didn't need him any more, the season is lost and the fact that surgery will be to remove bone chips rather than restructure an elbow is the best news the Mets have had all season. This is a sign the worst is almost over, hurray! (Ok, the worst is NEVER going to be over with the Mets and this miserable franchise but for a few seconds anyway, hope reared its ugly, predictable head...) So, despite the good news, this wouldn't be the Mets if there weren't questions raised about whether or not the Mets mismanaged Santana . The question is not a stretch, certainly. The Mets mismanage everything they come into contact with. Any situation is a vulnerability, a potential for mismanagement and if it is associated with the Mets, with the Wilpons or Omar , you can be pretty damned sure if there's a way to cock it up or ma...

Say what you will about the Mets this season but the predictability of their miraculous injury run has finally reached its zenith with the news we've all been waiting for: even his own teammates predict season-ending surgery for Johan Santana . And to think, poor Jeff Francoeur and his dodgy season-ending thumb is merely back pages news by comparison. If that doesn't turn him off the Mets, nothing will. This is the guy who never missed a game due to injury in his career before joining the Mets. (and to call them the "injury plagued Mets" is the understatement of the season - if DL casualties were victories, the Mets would have already won the World Series. have a look . The only two things left are Jerry Manuel to have a heart attack in the dugout and the Omar v Adam Rubin Steel Cage Match wherein Omar is mortally wounded and spurts ketchup from a fake head injury before tearing up that dreadfully unfair Oliver Perez contract and awarding him a new restructu...

I have to be honest, after Oliver Perez gave up that homer to Adam LaRoche (the solo homer in the 3rd, not the three run homer he gave up to Matt Diaz in the 2nd)that gave the Braves what seemed at the moment, reasonably to be an insurmountable 4-0 lead, I switched it over to watch Pedro pitch. Just for the sake of my own sanity, you see. Oliver Perez has that effect on people. The familiar post-gopher pose of Perez Fortunately, after watching Pedro earn the final out of the inning, a rain delay sent me back to the Mets game, just in time to see Angel Pagan rattle that line drive off of Derek Lowe's left hand that signalled the beginning of the unexpected deluge of runs, 8 in all, in the bottom of the 4th inning. Lowe was not the same after that line drive Before that of course, it was just plain painful, having our noses rubbed in it like that, Lowe v Ollie, what could have been v what is. But instead, we were treated to a franchise-record 10 hits in one inning, two each b...