Archie Bunker's Army

Not everyone is bubbling with enthusiasm at the thought of Reyes hitting third, despite a rather exciting debut in that slot the other day against the Marlins. Here's a bit of interesting insight on Jose Reyes' mindset from teammate Jose Valentin but even more telling was an anonymous source on the Mets quoted as remarking with respect to Jerry's threat to hit Reyes third: "He's at his best when he's not thinking too much at the plate," was the way one Mets person put it. "He's gotten better at getting on base, but sometimes has a tendency - he takes good pitches to hit and then swings at bad ones. Then he gets frustrated and before you know it, he's in a slump. None of this speaks very much to Reyes' maturity or intelligence as a baseball player. Not that any of this is really much of a surprise to anyone in any event but one does wonder if Jerry's little mind games are going to be able to soak in through Jose's ADD-addled head...

"I love the energy that Jose Reyes brings, but I don't always like the anxiety that comes with it. I want to calm that down. He needs to play at jazz time. And he's playing at a hip-hop level. I want him to the best jazz player he can be." I just couldn't help it, this quote is one of the best quotes from a baseball manager in a long time. Is Reyes ready to make his move? And that's not just because Reyes hit a grand slam, another homer and drove in six runs from his new number three spot whilst the Mets were pounding the Marlins 9-0 yesterday. I mean if anything, beating the crap out of the Marlins in February just underscores the futility of having them drop the Mets out of the play-offs the last two Septembers running. When the Mets win meaningful games in September and drop the stigma of being choke artists will be the time to get excited. Right now, this is just a painful reminder of all they haven't done the last two years. And whilst these first...

Whilst it isn't the intention of the Army to digest and regurgitate every single pitch and at-bat of every split-squad game against MLB teams and university sides this Spring Training, yesterday was, as they say, special doins' it being the very first game of 2009 and all from which the tiniest impressions of the future may or may not be extracted. And from the 9-3 inaugural victory over the lowly Baltimore Orioles one might allow oneself to feel ever so slightly encouraging. Jerry did. My, how he gushed. "Very, very huge for us," Manuel effused either with relief or the dementia of a man whose head has baked too long in the Florida sun. It WAS after all, just a Spring Training game. Ok, the two batters who under the brightest spotlight this Spring, namely Luis Castillo and Ryan Church , both started and shined combining for 4 hits and 7 RBIs, a dream beginning. Now granted, this is against some sorry Oriole pitching, the majority of which isn't likely to se...

One thing for certain, Jerry Manuel isn't waiting to see what's going to happen before reacting. Whilst it's been pretty much common knowledge all winter that in the absence of Dream Team Left Fielder Manny Ramirez joining the club, left field was going to see a platoon of last season's surprising AA call-up Danny Murphy and last season's surprising out-of-nowhere return of Fernando Tatis . I mean, barring any horrible implosion by one of them this wasn't simply pencilled in, this seemed to be carved in stone as a good idea. Not any more. Jerry dropped the bombshell that Murph is going to be the every day left fielder : "I don't want him to get into a strictly platoon situation," Manuel said. "I think he's a little better player than that. Also, with Church being a lefthanded hitter, I kind of see Murphy being a better hitter right now at this time, so Tatis could go that way [in rightfield]. It all depends on how well they're doing...

Yea, yea. It's all good and well to be thinking about Jose Reyes getting smuggled down to third in the order whilst auld Crazy Legs Castillo is slotted up to the lead off spot and Jose has to hear about it from his homeys in Dominican instead of from Jerry. It's interesting in a pedestrian sort of way to hear JJ Putz , (which understandably, he prefers pronounced "Puts" like shot puts rather than Putz, like the derogatory noun) likes AC DC but doesn't like bagels...all this little getting to know your team sort of information that fills in all that dead time during Spring Training muscle memory training. It's also reasonably fascinating to find out how Jerry had them out there hitting 80 breaking balls a piece to the opposite field, promoting hand/eye coordination, hand strength and taking the body out of the swing. But so far the most interesting facet of this Spring Training coverage is the discovery of Lolita Lopez , who I spotted for the first time sea...

Yes, kids, I know, it's only the fledgling days of Spring Training and we shouldn't be getting our metaphorical panties in a bunch just yet with excitement about the potential rejuvenation of Luis Castillo but if you watch, you almost can't help but get excited: Now, what you want to be aware of, in addition to the gimp knees, is that Castillo has gone to the trouble of LOSING 17 POUNDS from last season . Sure, you might say, wtf, when you're as fat as Luis Castillo was last season, losing 30 pounds would barely register, but the pernt is of course that he's trying to show us his commitment. He even appears to be wide awake. Mostly. Hell, I don't want to spend all season making Castillo jokes, I really don't. I'd like to be writing about him being the Comeback Player of the Year , and because it's early well, we can always dream. And speaking of infields, if in fact I was speaking rather than only referring to them subliminally, you migh...

Although A-Rod, thankfully does not play for the Mets and the Mets are happily basking in anonymity whilst the massive klieg light of A-Rod's dog and pony steroid show trundles forward, it's virtually impossible, after listening to that comedic little press conference today, to think too hard this early about who will wind up the 5th starter for the Mets and whether Jose Reyes will ever return and leave his newborn daughter behind to bat third for the Mets. So my apologies for blaspheming these pages with a little tidbit about A-Rod and the Yank-Mees, but today, front and centre, The Young and Stupid Defence simply must take precedent. ***** late addition: couldn't help but notice Beltran's public exhortation to "kill" Cole Hamels . Presumably he intends that metaphorically but the spirit is exciting. Can't wait for Hamel's first Bankrupt Park appearance. Speaking of Bankrupt Park, came across these very chilling Chopper 800 photos of the destructio...

My, my. How time flies. Seems like only yesterday we were watching the Mets stumble with a lead we always sort of assumed they would lose, watching the bullpen disintegrate night after night, watching the NL Playoffs for a second season in a row with no real rooting interest other than for anyone who was playing the Phillies. Now here we are, Spring Training camp open, the fun about to begin all over again. Or the misery, depending on how optimistically you are capable of performing in these early days despite the last two Septembers. So let's go to the video tape, so to speak and hash it out, John McLaughlin-style : Issue One: Is Jerry Taking The Piss Or Is He Really Thinking About Dropping Reyes Down to Third in the Order and Moving Senor Somnambulism into the Leadoff Spot??! - there's a wide ranging lack of consensus on this from hmmm, so weird it might actually work to are you fucking kidding me? schools of thought. Here's the Army's take: Firstly, it might no...

I suppose once they'd let the Braves shoot their wad signing Derek Lowe this day was inevitable all along. (Bore me a river...) Oliver Perez is coming back to the Mets for a "reasonable" 3 years and $36 million. On the excitement scale, this is like watching paint dry or a back-to-back showing of The English Patient. On the sanity scale, it's like entrusting your young child to a day care assistant with a history of untreated schizophrenia. Let's face it, for this kind of money, Perez, whether we like it or not, whether the Mets admit it or not, is now the de facto Number Two pitcher in the rotation. You lay out all the accolades you want about Pelf or Maine but in that pair you've got a guy who if we're lucky, will mirror the career of let's say John Lackey , (and that's assuming he can make the leap to two consecutive 200 IP seasons after more than doubling the number of games started last season) and another guy coming off of arthroscopic...

"You win championships with a 25-man roster." Omar Minaya Well, you certainly don't win them with 10 man rosters. Nonetheless, whilst the temptation is to maintain a steady drone of hi-fidelity off-season whinge, I am now in a position to reluctantly admit that with hindsight, the off-season hasn't been the unmitigated disaster we all like to believe it's been. True, there is no shortage of Manny Wanters , those irresponsible minds who believe all problems can be solved by throwing money at them, (I mean really, why MUST the Mets sign Manny, just for the additional headaches and nausea sure to follow?)but in the meantime, Omar has been a reasonably good job at building the 2009 Mets. Lest yea forget, months ago, the bullpen was the biggest Achilles Heel in the history of baseball, (for those in love with hyperbole). Now look at it. A weakness turned into a strength. PLUS, no more having to watch Heilman hang his homer surrender monkey head or listening to Sch...

What a holding pattern. After the desperate Braves shook up the regime by paying over the odds for Derek Lowe and calling Omar's bonehead bluff to keep the sales figures low, the quiet on the free agent starting pitcher front has been deafening. Not that the Mets don't desperately need a starting pitcher to complete the rotation, ( Omar just spent a month's worth of vocal chords explaining to the world why he has to take care of the "pitching situation" first ), as though its some dirty little secret that can't be spoken about openly, i.e. that other than Omar, no one appears much interested in Oliver Perez or the rest of the lot at the minute. But I can't help but wondering we've somehow missed the boat and we're kicking around other peoples' garbage here, shopping in some pathetic third world trinket market for something a forgotten relative will find charming in an enigmatic sort of way a few months down the road. Hell, even Johan has chim...

So the Braves have given Derek Lowe another year but only $4 million more on a deal to get him . $4 million more. You have to wonder why the Mets didn't up their offer without increasing the length of the deal. Could it be because Omar is infatuated with Oliver Perez despite Olly's hair-pullingly frustrating penchant for lapses in concentration and focus? That Omar, despite his offseason moves, deep down loves to confound and demoralise Met supporters with puzzling moves? Can't speak for his motivations other than well, he likes Olly. Wants to make him a cabana boy for Yacht Club of September Choke and give him scads of cash and years to blow it in. But if he wasn't willing to part with enough beans to sign Lowe leaving Olly as the de facto favourite, why isn't auld Randy Wolf getting a closer look? Their numbers were nearly identical last season. Wolf had two more victories in one less start despite a 0.08 higher ERA. Wolf had a FAR better walk to strik...

Still pondering whether or not this is a joke: Mets new uni "patch" to commerate the mockery of the franchise... Frighteningly similar to Domino's Pizza logo. Well, well. The Chimps in the Mets marketing department should be congratulated for their consistency. This is what a little less than a year after that idiotic theme song which turned out to be an Rick Astley internet hoax. No one ever bothered to listen to my theme song . But really, rubbish logo, rubbish songs, choking dog team, what a laughable combination. But wait, it gets worse! According to this reliable source , with the Braves so desperate, they've offered the 35 year old Derek Lowe a four year $60 million contract leaving the Mets to slop up the messes of the likes of Oliver Perez for another excruciating three year period. Of course, nothing's official yet. Maybe it's all another internet hoax.

If the latest rumour mill is to be believed, the Mets appear to be close to signing Tim Redding to fill the fifth spot in the rotation. Smart move, if it comes to pass. Once you've carefully read the headline and realised after the initial shock, that thank christ, Redding isn't meant to be the answer to the stall in the negotiations to sign Derek Lowe . And of course, once you've gotten past the initial nausea of thinking jesus, the bottom-dwelling Nats didn't even tender this guy a contract even though he led the team in wins so what's wrong with him? Well, if you read this you'll find that as a rotation star, he was rubbish, however as a fifth starter... "The more you look at it, the more last year's Tim Redding seems like the "real Tim Redding" durably giving you a bunch of innings barely worth that of a 5th starter. Of course there is value in just having innings eaten up. The Nats bullpen has annually been killed by the fact the team...

Before we wake up in a pile of our own sick sometime around 11 am on the first day of 2009, it might be a good time to have a quick look 'round at the Highlights and Lowlights of another miserable season, 2008. But first, a mini photo montage: The return of the rollercoaster, number one favourite photo of the season.... Jose makes the crazy, Who Me Choke? face, yet again. Hey Jose, don't look now but it's September! Remember this Jose Bonehead Brainfart Against the Phillies in July? What a minute, how about Bonehead getting picked off against the Yank-Mes in June? Need More Oxygen To Point to the Sky! Frame It! Castillo Actually Awake During a Game, Though Barely... Yup, Head Still Attached to Neck... The Hall of Fame of Mediocre Mets Managers Look familiar? Another Blown Game By Schoeneweis Don't Worry Oliver, Soon enough you'll be pitching like crap for even more money! What a relief you're gone! Mr Met Concussion, 2008 Yeessss, give Mr Mediocre More Money! ...

One of the sickly sad things immediately following the second consecutive Mets September collapse was not just the collapse itself but the gargantuan wish list many Mets fans produced as a result. I had to stop listening to the FAN after those first few games, reliving the bitterness and hearing the Mets needed to immediately sign CC , K-Rod and Manny . It did cross my mind early yesterday when reading that Mark Teixeira suitors like the Angels and the Red Sox were dropping out of the Sweepstakes that it was plenty similar to the early chase for Johan last season and how the Mets swooped in at the last minute, unexpectedly, to surprise baseball with the trade that changed the Mets' rotation. And admittedly, I did allow a little crumb of hope that Omar would do something similar this season with Teixeira; swoop in at the last minute with a double move, trading Carlos Delgado to the Angels in return for a few draft picks and simultaneously announcing the signature of Tex to a Me...

Ok, we've all had time to digest the recent flurry of moves Omar put on the rest of baseball (bar the Yankees who defied the times and threw money at anything that moved, outbidding themselves where needed just to feel secure...)and having digested we're perhaps beginning to discover a little too much time on the toilet as a result? Let's start with K-Rod himself. Have it, Phillies Wankers... It's admirable that he's out there shooting off his mouth before he's even found a home in the NYC area for his family. Sure, K-Rod represents half of the one-two punch Omar has thrown to rejuvinate the Mets rubbish bullpen but let's look at reality for just a tick here...the Phillies, after their leader proclaimed them the team to beat in the Spring of 2007 and even after the Mets team leader proclaimed the Mets the team to beat in the Spring of 2008, won the NL East both times and of course, the World Championship in '08, deservedly or not. So claiming to be th...

What's this, Omar has finally learned the auld one-two, the body blow followed by the uppercut? Bullpen worries TKO'd? One day after doing the predictable by signing K-Rod, Omar reaffirmed in part anyway, his reputation as a GM's GM by turning a crazy auld-school three-way trade to net JJ Putz , reliever Sean Green and outfielder Jeremy Reed in exchange for Aaron Heilman , Endy Chavez and Joe Smith . What this means of course is that the number one concern going into the winter meetings, namely a rubbish bullpen, has been in large part alleviated. We might even be able to start breathing again although there's still the issue of a pair of starters, a left fielder and a second baseman to consider as holes waiting to be plugged. Addition by addition AND addition by subtraction. So the bullpen worries are pretty much over. Yes, there's a little more tweaking to do but Omar has fixed the biggest problem. And who isn't happy to see Heilman go? Who was still hol...