Archie Bunker's Army

In a bizarre announcement the Mets decided yesterday to abandon their efforts to advance further in the Second Annual What If The Mets HADN'T Blown It Again fantasy playoffs. "The season is over," an anonymous team source reported exclusively to Archie Bunker's Army in the wee hours of the morning. "We now believe our participation in some sort of weird 'what if' scenario is actually counter productive to moving forward from the humiliation of a second consecutive September collapse," the anonymous source, head covered by a blue and orange balaklava, reitterated in terse tones. Later, the Qatar-based Arabic news channel, Al Jazeera , announced receipt of the audio tape purportedly from Mets third baseman David Wright . Portions were broadcast in which Wright bitterly denounced Archie Bunker's Army for furthering the myth that Ollie Perez was capable of the pitching performance alleged to have taken place in Game 3 of the Second Annual What...

For 7 1/2 tense innings the Mets and supporters at Shea finally had something other than Santana's knee injury to worry about. True enough, Oliver Perez , in a likely bid for big bucks, pitched last night as he never had before in a Mets uniform despite a pretty decent record against top opponents. A two-hit complete game shut out however, was in danger of being wasted until the decisive 8th. "Today, that was the real Ollie," Perez said, keeping the inflatable imposter stuffed in his battered suitcase. "If we can get Ollie to be consistent, which has been the dilemma for him his whole career, we will have an excellent pitcher, no question," Mets manager Jerry Manuel said. "Just don't tell Scott Boras that." Cubs starter Rich Harden was cruising along on his own, having allowed only a single to Ryan Church through seven innings. It looked for all the world like the game would come down to the pens, a thought that made Shea uneasy to say the l...

He carried the Mets to the brink five days ago following a brilliant 125 pitch outing with an even more heroic 3 hit shutout on only 3 days rest but last night in Game 2 of the Division Series, Johan Santana had finally shot his wad. Exiting the game for a pinch hitter in the 5th Santana had given up 4 earned runs, walking a career high 6 batters and worse still, complaining of left knee pain which is rumoured to be a possible torn meniscus. Pain was the name of the game last night "I was going for it," Santana said afterwards, clearly as dejected as the rest of his team. "We worked really hard between this start and the last one to make sure my arm, my legs, everything was in place. But this time, it was simply too much" The pain clearly effected his delivery, hence his difficulty finding the strike zone. The Cubs, desperate for a win, took advantage in the 2nd inning when a walk to Geovany Soto was followed by a Jim Edmonds double. With two outs and men on 2n...

Jerry Manuel prophesied after the Mets dramatic win on Sunday in the 9th inning over the Marlins that they were primed for "good things". Last night, for openers anyway, he was right. Mike Pelfrey , whose unexpected emergence solidified the rotation this season, opened a star-studded Wrigley Divisional Playoff by throwing 8 surprisingly solid innings, scattering 8 hits and a trio of walks to allow only a single run before exiting for a pinch hitter in the 9th with the score tied in his first-ever post season start. "Nervous? I vomited so much before the game I was almost dehydrated," the young staradmitted afterwards. The Cubs opened the scoring in this dramatic pither's duel when Mike Fontenot RBI single scored Derrek Lee in the bottom of the 6th for a 1-0 led. Although the Mets managed only 3 hits in the first 7 innings off of an uncharacteristically wild Ryan Dempster , who walked 7 on the night, after 7 innings of typically frustrating inability to capi...

Once again, in blissful ignorance, ABA presents the Second Annual What If The Mets HADN'T Blown It Again fantasy playoffs. Cautiously optimistic Tonight the Mets will open in Chicago at 6:30. Probable pitching matchups: Wednesday, October 1, 2008 6:30 p.m @ Chicago M. Pelfrey (13-11) v Dempster (17-6) Thursday, October 2, 2008 9:30 p.m @ Chicago J. Santana (16-7) v Zambrano (14-6) Saturday, October 4, 2008 6:00 a.m. @ Shea Perez (10-7) v Harden (10-2) Sunday, October 5, 2008 TBD @ Shea TBD v Lilly (17-9) Tuesday, October 7, 2008 TBD @ Chicago TBD v TBD Experts are picking the Cubs in 4. Tonight's rumoured lineup: Reyes ss Beltran cf Delgado 1b Wright 3b Murphy lf Martinez 2b Church rf Schneider c

You could say at leasr they hadn't blown the season after a half inning like last year but you'd be lying to yourself. Last year was like ripping the bandage off. Yesterday was like getting a bone rebroken because it didn't heal right the first time. I could moan about Schoeneweis and Ayala giving up those consecutive homers in the 8th. But that would diminish the pathetic choke of managing only five runs against Marlin pitching in three games. You want to hang some bullseyes? Jose Reyes . after the September he had last season, 2 for 13 against the Marlins was disgraceful. Especially because he is the motor of the offense. When he chokes, the Mets have no offense. Maybe he shouldn't be getting 688 at-bats in a season. Maybe he needs rest more often. Something tells me he's got to go and now, whilst he's young and fast and popular. He'll be worth alot. Wright , .340 in September but 0 for 4 last night. Yes, 4 hits in this series. All fucking singl...

Yes, a 3 hit shutout on 3 days rest is brilliant. Bravo. Last year, game 161, Maine struck out like 14 Marlins and the Mets won by double digits. Look where it got them. The Brewers still have to lose. And go ahead, ask me: How do I feel about Oliver Perez starting with the season on the line? All I can say is he'll be hard pressed to do worse than Glavine's season finale in 2007. And even if he pitches like it is Game 4 of the 2006 NLCS, the Brewers still have to lose. But at least we bought ourselves a day and that Gangsta proved to be worth every penny. GO CUBS!

We've all been here uncountable times this season already, throwing our hands up in frustration and disbelief. We've seen the Marlins end our season before, far too recently. Have they done it again already? As it stands now, if the Brewers or Phillies don't lose again, the Mets season is over, regardless of what the Mets do. So of the many disappointments of last night's seemingly predictable result, the Mets no longer controlling their own fate has to be the most disappointing. After 160 games, the blame game matters least. After a rollercoaster ride of a series against the Cubs, last night's loss seemed almost anti-climactic, as though perhaps the fight in this team had been exhausted. Yes, Parnell allowed two runs without recording an out. Yes Feliciano threw one pitch and hit a batter. Yes, Reyes was 0 for 5 which is really all you need to know about the disappearance of the offense. But it doesn't matter who's to blame anymore. It seemed a team...

Regretfully, I admit I quit. Nice one, douchebag. When Hoffpauir hit that three run shot off of Rincon in the 7th and in the pissing down rain, seconds after Pedro had made his graceful exit from the game, I snapped the game off and cursed myself to sleep. 158 games and and 6 1/2 innings of this up and down, high and low had finally taken it's toll. That and four consecutive nights of midnight starting times, virtual somnambulism. It was only human. Little did I know one night after the worst loss of the season the Mets would pick themselves up off the canvas once more and give us yet another night of survival. And in the morning, reluctantly reaching for the recorder to replay what was certain to be the final nail in the coffin, it suddenly became christmas morning three months early. I couldn't believe my eyes. METS 7 CUBS 6, misery postponed. Did you lose faith after Delgado grounded into a double play following Wright's lead off single in the 8th or did you wis...

How often it feels like you're living and dying with every pitch, euphoria effortlessly blending with despair as this pennant race reaches its zenith. Take the 8th, for example - down by 1, the Brewers winning in Pittsburgh, Delgado's leadoff double sent us soaring with hope. Then came Beltran's single, prevented from being an RBI single by Luis Aguayo's sudden conservative scaredy-cat decision to hold Delgado at third. Followed by the fear/knowledge it would be costly. Aguayo, you will recall, has a history of questionable decisions to send runners from third . Now he overcompensates. Can we bring back Willie to coach 3rd for the last four games of the season. And naturally, Choking Church K's to advance no one. Castro grounds out. Fear and disgust grows. Then Chavez gets mysteriously and intentionally walked to load the bases for Ramon Martinez which leads to confusion as many scramble to figure out who the hell he is. First game in September? Mets...

What a night. Before anyone gets too giddy, remember that euphoria after Game 161 last season when the Met pummeled the Marlins and for a few hours anyway, all seemed right with the world again. That 13-0 win over the Marlins gave the Mets a final gasp of life before Glavine put them back under the guillotine the following day... Ok, end of disclaimer. Woop! So for one night anyway, this was how they dreamt it all winter and spring. Santana , we now know, is a second half pitcher, so next season we needn't fret a slow start. Since the All Star break, 7-0 with a 2.37 ERA, 3-0 in September alone. Simply put, without Santana this September the Mets would already be gone, done, ovah. that broken bat was some much-needed luck Last night he rose larger to the occasion than perhaps ever before this season; 8 innings, 125 pitches, struck out 10, matching his season high, and even had a 5th inning broken-bat hit to commence a rally, finishing with two runs scored. This is what we got ...

Everything you say to me Takes me one step closer to the edge And I'm about to break I need a little room to breathe Cause I'm one step closer to the edge And I'm about to break Linkin Park - One Step Closer Mets mirror market crash When you give up a grand slam to the opposing pitcher in the 4th inning, you can pretty much be certain of an uphill battle. Of course when you start a kid with all of two starts in his MLB career under his belt in the heat of the pennant race against the best team in the National League I'm not sure you can expect much better than pissing into the wind. I can't imagine two rally-killing double plays in both the 4th and 6th innings were much assistance and in reality, the margin for error wass virtually nil all along. It all spells a looming doom as the Mets dropped another full game behind the Phillies and now, more importantly, allowed the Brewers edge a half game closer. Call me crazy but as much of this season's dreary failures i...

So, the Mets began their three game series in Atlanta Friday night a half game behind the Phillies for first and 1 1/2 games ahead of the Brewers for the wildcard. Two losses and one victory later, they still maintain their narrow wildcard lead but have fallen a further full game behind the Phillies. It ent lookin rosy. On Saturday night the pen was flawless but Pedro couldn't knock in more runs than he allowed which was a pity considering the rest of the Mets order was stifled by a combination of mediocre Brave hurlers. 6 meagre hits by the vaunted Mets batting order and only Pedro's 2-run double amounted to anything. And then yesterday, having relinquished their tender, day-old half game lead over the Phillies, the Mets revisited a predictable nemesis; the predictably disappointing bullpen. Schoeneweis , Smith , Feliciano and Heilman combined in one sad and pathetic inning to give up 4 runs, 4 hits and 2 walks as a rubbish Braves linep transformed a 4-3 lead, like a mag...

I see that the Mets won and the Phillies and Brewers lost. First place for a night. I'm due in NYC for Game 3, National League host. Let's say Shea.

I have to admit, having listened to the Brewers bullpen implode against the Cubs and blow a 6-2 lead in the 9th, the woes of the Mets own pen were put in perspective and, knowing Santana was pitching last night, a little of the pressure against the Nats was off. No doubt the Mets, with the exception of David "Choking Dog" Wright , felt much the same way. Mr Masterful Santana was masterful, hurling 7 nearly-spotless innings whilst the Mets built up a convincing 7-1 lead. 15 consecutive starts without a loss. The bullpen, by and large, gave everyone's nerves a rest for a change, allowing only a run despite Joe Smith's dubious 23 pitch inning in the 8th wherein he managed to give up 3 hits and a run but started no major fires. Show-a-loss shat himself again; giving up a pair of hits and trying to open the door to a 9th inning Nat rally before Jerry yanked him for Feliciano , who nearly walked Langerhan, a .231 hitter to load the bases, but instead, induced an inning ...

So for one night back to the foibles we are a little more comfortable with: the inadequacies of the bullpen. Oh yes, for one night anyway, the Mets batting order regained a modicum of its swagger; 4 homers, one from each side of the plate from Beltran , a game opening smash from Reyes and a monster from Delgado . Rather than rest on an early lead and fizzle for the remainder of the game as they're prone to do, the Mets even added 4 runs in the 3rd and another an inning later to build a morale-boosting 7-2 lead. Anyone want to be in this poor bastid's shoes? Of course with nowhere man Brandon Knight fighting to keep his head above water we all knew it was only a matter of time before anxiety began to set in and sure enough, with a series of tumultuous appearances by Ricardo Rincon and Brian Stokes cutting the lead to a paltry 3 runs by the end of the 7th, sure enough, it did. Heilman , who inexplicably was allowed to debauch the game with an appearance, was wisely yanked afte...

"This is like deja vu all over again." -- Yogi Berra So, the replay of last season's September choke continues, albeit on a lesser scale this time, only a lead half the size has been blown. yeah, thanks Mr Team to Beat. "With (pitcher Johan Santana), now, I have no doubt that we're going to win in our division," Beltran said back in Feb. "So this year, to Jimmy Rollins, we are the team to beat." Last night's 1-0 loss to the lowly Nats introduced a new and exciting theme. The incompetence of the bullpen was no longer an issue with the meat of the Mets order going rotten faster than Lehman Brothers. Two runs and nine puny hits against the worst team in baseball is not a slump. It's the final sign this team is gasping for air, choking to death. 2 hits in 16 at-bats for Reyes , Beltran , Wright and Delgado says it all. “Like I’ve said all along, this is a little bump in the road,” David Wright repeated to the world like a mantra. “I...

This was the kind of game the Mets have taken by the scruff of the neck under Jerry Manuel this season. On the heels of many demoralising losses the Mets have made a statement through victory. Not so last night. Last night they let the Nats to beat up on them with barely a whimper of protest. I mean, c'mon. John Lannan?? Anderson effin Hernandez? .209 in 158 at-bats with the bases loaded this season? Ugh. This loss is a deep whiff of 2007. For the first time in months, the NL East lead down to a half game, the Mets failed to come back from a bitter, ugly loss and exacerbated it with another ugly loss instead. Flat. Maybe scared. Maybe doomed. "There's no panic. We know what's at stake," David Wright says with panic written all over. Reyes, Wright, Beltran, Delgado; 1 for 15. Talk is cheap, lads. It's now or never time.

Well, for the last 2 days anyway, what has been held together by the vaguest of hopes, chicken wire and packing tape, appears to be coming apart. That's right - the oft-loathed, occasionally relieving relievers who have allowed us the wildest of speculations despite the lack of a "real" closer for their momentary daliance with competence may once again be on the down swing, at the direst of times. no single-handed heroics were big enough The debacle of three of the last four games now haunt us all and, like the sword of Damocles poised, threatens the seson yet again. Of course there is also the lack of timely hitting to blame yet let's face it, not even a dozen runs is a safe lead when it omes to the pen at times. yes indeed, exactly Yesterday's stomach-turning reult, like so many blown victories this season, seemed almost pre-ordained: a slim 2 run margin into the 9th was almost laughable when bemoaning 0-for-10 with runners in scoring position yesterday and leav...

It appears all those Phillies phans who thought they could back into the post season again might have to reassess their October plans. That's right - thanks to the Phillie phailure to go for the kill Sunday night the Mets' magic number is down to 16. And, bonus - last night's 10-8 win over the gnats mathematically eliminated the Atlanta Braves. The funny thing is with Carlos Delgado enamouring the fans with a couple of homers a night to the point they've begun to chant MVP instead of douchebag, you'd almost forget there wasn't a soul outside the team who hadn't written his career off and yet boom! There he is, righting all the wrongs, playing like it was the 2006 Division Series all over again. Or yeah when everyone was dreaming about this in Spring Training we were all talking about how some washed out reliever on the Nats was going to save our season by replacing The Hillbilly as our closer. And look, after last night how many Mets have at least 100 R...