Archie Bunker's Army

11-0 to one of the worst teams in baseball. Two losses in a row at home to one of the worst teams in baseball. Rather than dissect every excruciating minute, rather than rant and rave and froth at the mouth at this steaming collection of disappointment I think in this case, this loss calls for some simple catharsis. And then just forget this game ever happened. From Trailer Park Boys

Well, did everyone who has watched the collective heads of the Mets bob up and down like an apple in a barrel of water this season have this predicted? Disbelief or slow-burning acceptance of inability? The crappiest, most dysfunctional team in MLB comes to town in the form of the Seattle Mariners and the Mets, as has been their MO all season, lose. Lose with Santana , their alleged ace on the mound, the very same multi-year multi-million ace wannabe who gave up a grand slam homerun to the Seattle Mariners' pitcher, Felix Hernandez . The first grandslam EVER hit by a Mariner pitcher in their entire sordid and pathetic history. And the first grandslam hit by a pitcher since Dontrelle Willis did it against, wait for it boys, the effin Mets of course. That means the Mets are winless in the "ace's" last four starts. Some ace. I don't care if he was all smooth sailing other than that humiliating grand slam. I don't care if the Mets continued this hitting torpo...

That's three straight series victories over the Rangers, Angels and Rockies respectively, not all Jerry Manuel's doing of course, but still - enough to work the Phillies lead down to 3 1/2 games. But don't go planning any parties. The Mariners are coming to town, a dysfunctional mess of a team that make the Mets almost seem competent are just the sort of team and situation that has turned the Mets back on their collective ear more than once this season. Remember a few weeks ago when the Mets were feeling high and mighty about going to San Diego to face the loser Padres? A shit storm of losses followed. So before anyone gets cocky, just remember: this is precisely the sort of team the Mets might let their guard down against. It's not as though they've been any good at Shea this season. Yesterday Carlos Beltran hit a two-run homer which sort of made up for that idiotic bunt attempt with two men on and none out the day before. Oddly enough, Manuel seemed to have...

Jimenez , walking the first two batters of the inning in the 4th. So everyone thinking first pitch fast ball, Beltran at the plate, hitting clean up for crissakes, a good place for an Earl Weaver favourite, the three run homer and what does Beltran do? Bunt foul down the third base line. And spontaneously, a thousand voices shout what the fuck?! And the inning? Beltran ended with a fielder’s choice and Delgado does his patented groundball double play and that’s that. The Mets’ best chance it would turn out, not to lose the game. Presumably this moment of idiocy was not sanctioned by Jerry Manuel. It will be intesting to hear his reaction. Will he pull out his shiv and hold it to Beltran's throat telling him if he ever bunts again as the clean up hitter with two men on, none out and the pitcher rapidly losing control, he'll cut him up. Cut him up good. Ok, thanks for the reminder that your best years are behind you. Now on your bike, son. So what happened to Pedro ...

So, they've crawled back to .500. Sad to say but apparently, this is an accomplishment for the Mets. Carlos Delgado had a two-run homer, Trot Nixon , resurrected from Triple AAA (and let's face it for Omar, a decent find...if you throw enough shit against the wall eventually some of it will stick...) had one of his own an inning later to complement a nice sliding catch. Beltran had three hits and is now out-hitting David Wright after his abysmal beginning. Sweet Mother of God, Make Them Stop Hitting! the Rockies cried to themselves in their little hand towels in the dugout. Overall, they just pounded Aaron Cook in the 2nd inning. Cook had 10 wins going into last night's game. And they just smacked him around the park like a little bitch. You almost thought it would never stop coming. Beltran was up twice and only Nixon and starting pitcher John Maine failed to get on base that inning. Speaking of Maine, he failed to pitch 7 full innings despite throwing 110 pitch...

Two solid outings in a row and you knew Oliver Perez was due an implosion. Is Amanda Beard going to be the designated Opening Pitch thrower the rest of the season for the Mets? Olly's 5th, perhaps predictably, was the moment we were all waiting for, the meltdown. Olly does his patented floating baseball trick That was the one he entered with a 3-1 lead and exiting with a 4-3 deficit. But it could have been much, much worse were it not for some real bonehead baserunning by the Angels. I have to admit, bases loaded with none out and then Magic Vlad's 2-run RBI single threatening to blow the game wide open I figured that was it, Olly's TKO. Especially when Torii Hunter singled in another run. I mean were talking Olly had faced 5 batters and they had all gotten on base. It was just a matter of time before a few walks and a few wild pitches turned this into an Angels' route. But then something funny happened. The Angels blew the game FOR Olly. Part I of the bonehea...

So Morgan Freeman Jerry Manuel - you on the hot seat now too? Is the honeymoon over after a night? Did it ever really begin other than a brief press conference? Here's the thing. With Willie, the Mets beat the Angels. So far without Willie, they can't beat the Angels. Not even with their "ace" on the mound. On the other hand perhaps given all the chaos of the last 24 hours added to the jet lag of 21,000 miles logged in recent times and well, the Mets have themselves a neat little excuse for a pathetic 6-1 loss to mark the Reign of Jerry. So was it the distractions brought on by the Mets' moronic handling of the sacking of the manager or John Lackey and his pencil thin 1.92 ERA? As far as I'm concerned this is a clean slate. The Mets are 0-0 this season albeit 6 1/2 games behind the Phillies in the East. You get the idea that ANYTHING would have been preferrable to Willie no matter how badly and illogically Omar went about making his final decision. A...

He was robbed of twenty dollars His body found stripped Cast into the harbour there and drowned And I want to know the same thing We all wanna know How's it going to end? The sirens are snaking, their way up the hill It’s last call somewhere in the world --Tom Waits Hows It Gonna End So, Manager Willie is no more. Gone too are Rick Peterson and Tom Nieto . A real gutting of the inner workings of a team clearly going nowhere with a justifiably unhappy and impatient fan base, saying good riddance to the man who engineered one of the worst collapses in baseball history last season. The players act stunned but frankly, given the forewarnings over the last week no one should be surprised. However, one can hope that if the players are in fact stunned , this sort of act is something that might stir the rustling of action in the players themselves - will this be what is finally required to get the players to act like they are taking the season seriously rather than simply going through t...

What do we say about Mike Pelfrey's outing last night against the Angels? Steady as a sinking ship Do we focus on the simple things like, well, he earned a rare victory, his first since what, like April 15th, kept the Mets in the game (sort of) and he bent but didn't break against the fearsome Angels offensive onslaught? Or do we think well, he gave up 6 earned runs in a mere 6 innings of work, he almost blew the game open for fatigue in the 7th, or Pedro Feliciano did a good job of trying to blow the game open on his behalf before magically and mysteriously, Aaron Heilman came in and actually got the side out without further damage ? Is this Jose Reyes' excited face or does he look a wee bit possessed as though someone's gotten hold of a voodoo doll in his likeness? On the one hand you might say Pelfrey pitched just good enough to win but that is discounting the unusual display, the rare run support he was afforded by his teammates led in large part by the resurgent...

The bright side: the Mets avoided losing both ends of a doubleheader yesterday - I believe, without consulting the gurus who hold this information, that this is the first doubleheader they haven't lost both ends of so far this season... Is Willie attempting to choke himself before someone else does? In any event, it's a series won, isn't it. If they were to win two of three the rest of the season they'd be...Living in Fantasy Land...ha. Game One , a dull monotonous affair punctuated by another stirling imitation by the bullpen of what it would be like if Willie summoned random spectators from the stands to close out his games for him rather than the muppets currently called in from the bullpen to do so. Feliciano , Smith and Schoeneweiss , all equally adept at allowing that earned run when it's wanted least. That doesn't even count those left over from John Maine they ole'd home after he'd left. Then again, it's not like Maine was setting them ...

Well one thing gleaned from reading a day's worth of New York media coverage of the Mets during a rain out is that surprise, surprise, Willie's job is in danger. There must have been at least 8 different articles from 4 different sports pages taking disparate views; it's the players' fault, not Willie's for example. Or Willie should be sacked, just not on Father's Day. Or Willie should be sacked but replacing him with Jerry Manuel is a mistake. Or firing Rick Peterson along with Willie is a bone head move. I've never really thought of Willie as a Manager of the Year sort of manager, he always seemed sort of fated as the guy who sinks or swims with how his players play rather than riding the wave of some overwhelming tactical genius to out-manage other managers in tight ball games. He's made alot of visible errors, game-time decisions that are derided as borderline idiotic or pedantic. His stamp on the team is made with invisible ink. The issue with ...

Here's the season summarised in a nut shell. Here's everyone's worst nightmare. The Mets finally win a game with a little breathing room to spare, knocking back a sad sack side like the Texas Rangers by a 7-1 margin only to be overshadowed by a 20-2 pasting by the Phillies over the Cardinals . What, a hit or two and suddenly the world's a lovely place? Capture this, you won't see Delgado smiling again. Nevertheless, Oliver Perez had his second successful outing in a row, looking almost Pelfreyesque with his domination but that only means that we all know his next outing is going to be the worst of his career (yes, try and top that 1/3 of an inning outing a few starts ago... And look, even Olly is allowed to enter the dugout after an inning without a grimace on his face. Now, if you wanted to get crazy and look at Pelfrey and Perez suddenly as the staff aces given their last few outings, you could make an argument for temporary insanity but the two can clearly pit...

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So, titillating 13th inning walk off two-run blast finally sets the Mets straight, finally gives them the momentum that they...the season is now transformed, the Mets have turned the corner, it won't be long now, the Phillies must be quaking in their boots...naaaaah. I suppose the warning label should read: Enjoy the celebration now, misery is just around the corner... Ok, it was thrilling last night, a veritable roller coaster. Big Cat Pelfrey: are these recent outings a hint of a promising future or like the rare Met victory a simple excuse to temporarily escape the misery? You get Pelfrey's amazing 5 hit, one earned run, 8 strikeout 8 1/3 inning outing, probably the best of his Mets career which, on the heels of two less-than-shabby starts leading up to this, makes one almost begin to believe that he's beginning to master his problems and become the starter the organisation has been expecting. Ok, maybe not as bad as Oliver Perez on his worst days but listen Billy, th...

Just call them losers. That's what they are, go on. Losers. Not just the last five games in a row, but as a team, for the season. Too many injuries, too much head hanging and very little reason left to hope for anything but inevitable disaster. Eating your shirt collar is just no substitute for success. Some one throw this cat a spare rib. Their first four losses were to the Padres, bottom dwellers of an already lowly NL West. Their most recent mess against the D'backs who although they lead the NL West, it is only by default, having lost 10 of their previous 14. Welcome to the cure-all for team problems. Meet the Mets, Beat the Mets . Although there was a rain delay that postponed the inevitable, inevitably of course, the 5-1 the Mets jumped to early on eventually faded and the Diamondbacks swallowed an ineffectual Mets bullpen en route to a 9-5 lead. John Maine who struggled despite the lead with an early high pitch count, was still able to leave the game with the lead ...

If you were one of the many encouraged by the recent spate of victories, who had perhaps fallen prey to some sort of baseless, giddy optimism based upon a couple wins in a season of mediocrity, you're ride is almost over. The highlight of the Padre season and although not the lowest point of the Mets' season, not with so many other miserable performances and disappointments ahead of us. Four losses in four games against the team which was in the basement of the NL West, especially in the face of a recent tear by the Phillies, the kind of tear we might add was precisely what the Mets were supposed to be gearing up for, is almost enough to sour your milk, piss on your cornflakes, wake you from your unreasonable slumber in time to join the new chorus of those singing for the sacking of Willie. Of course, the optimists will point to an earlier sweep at the hands of the Braves, equally ugly, equally discouraging, equally humiliating and note smugly that the Mets bounced back from ev...

In some ways, Scott Schoeneweis' meltdown choke up last night against the Padres was reminiscent of that 1999 Game 6 against the Braves when Kenny Rogers , legendary choke artist himself, walked Andrew Jones home with the bases loaded and gave the Braves the series. Of course, last night's game was neither as important nor as tension-filled, but Schoeneweis, who started the inning off by walking the first two batters, loaded the bases eventually with an intentional walk only to hit Paul McAnulty , a .223 hitter for crissakes, to allow the winning run to score for the Padres, 2-1. Is Jose pointed to Schoeneweis: You da problema, no da solution, meng... Whilst Schoeneweis, who earlier this season had almost begun to look like he put a miserable 2007 season behind him but who is looking ugly so far in June, was certainly the bullseye goat for the game, he wasn't the only problem. Just the penultimate one. For starters, point to the Mets managing only 5 hits off of Josh Banks...

Success breeds success and since Wandering Willie was given a stay of execution by the Wilpons the Mets have now won the last three series' they've played against the Marlins, Dodgers and Giants. Won seven of their last nine. The game was over, in essence, from this point on in the 1st. Although the Mets jumped to an early 3-0 lead in this Maine v Cain battle, thanks to Carlos Beltran's two-run double and a rare timely hit from Carlos Delgado , due to a couple of miscues the game was never really fully secured until Billy Hillbilly recorded his 13th save of the season. But perhaps that just a sign that for the moment anyway, the Mets fortunes are taking a turn for the better rather than a turn in the grave or a turn for the worse. Late run for the All Star Game? Not so long ago in Colorado, Jose Reyes made a bonehead error in a game John Maine was also pitching in and the eventual damage was a three-run that put the game away for the Rockies. Last night, in the thir...

It wasn't a thing of beauty but Pedro Martinez , coming on the heels of the slapstick start by Oliver Perez was sufficiently effective for an auld man coming back from a two month lay-off and the Mets won their 6th in the last 8 games. It doesn't amount to a season-changing charge, especially considering the Phillies and Braves are matching them win for win but let's face it, this certainly beats festering like open sores with every discouraging Met loss trying to conjure up daring new analogies and synonyms to describe the manager's professional incompetence and beat the hate bucket with a vicious intensity. Was Wandering Willie giving Pedro a true test by letting him throw 109 pitches in his return, was he trying to make up for the pitches not thrown in lost starts whilst on the DL? Did he realise too late that pulling Perez after less than an inning the night before was not the best way to prepare the bullpen for the return of a 36 year old man with dodgy body pa...

Oh C'mon. We knew all along the Mets were going to lose this game. They had their excuses premanufactured in some third world sweat shop days before the game even happened. "C'mong Hermano ", Delgado consoles Olly Perez during a low moment last night. "We dong need dees eshit meng. I gonna tell dem dey trade us to Peetsburgo for Xavier Nady eng two goats." Moaning about the schedule change to accommodate television (and thus the billions of hungry Mets fans across the UK), heaped upon a trans-continental flight to beautiful San Francisco to play in "baseball's perfect address" at AT&T Park and then get to play one of the crappiest teams in the NL West this season, well, not sure what there is to moan about here. The lads get paid millions to play a game, they aren't being relegated to the coal mines. I mean does this sound like Chinese water torture fellas? But look, they were pointing at this as a loss as early as last week so the ...