Archie Bunker's Army

SI reports rather ominously considering the Mets roster: "The past five world champs combined have used only four regular position players older than 32. (This excludes DH's, considers the player most frequently used at each of the eight fielding positions and uses July 1 of that season to determine a player's age.) That's 40 players, and only four of them were older than 32: Tim Salmon, then 33, of the 2002 Angels, Bill Mueller, 33, of the 2004 Red Sox, and Jim Edmonds, 36, and So Taguchi, 36, (largely a reserve in October) of the 2006 Cardinals." Perhaps based upon this, SI have also slotted the Mets 5th in the MLB power poll, predict they will win the NL East again this year but lose in the NLCS again this season, this time to the Dodgers. G'won. A Freeway Series , they're calling it. Pshaw. Dream on. ****** Duaner Throws Off Mound, Throws Off Shoulder ***** Meanwhile, the reliever who is only 27, Duaner Sanchez , appears to have broken a bone in h...

6-14-1 in the Spring, that's how the "meaningless" Spring Training reads to date. The Mets teams that have won championships have been moderately successful in Spring Training -- 14-10 in 1969 , 11-13 in 1973 , 13-13 in 1986 , 19-10 in 1988 , 15-16 in 1999 , 14-12 in 2000 and 16-14-1 last year . Their record in 1994 was 21-13. (that's nicked off the mlb site, not my own research, ha!) - Pernt is, there is no history for the Mets to take that kind of losing record from Spring Training and turn it into NL East magic. Spring Training Come Hither Consolation Prize... No one is pushing the panic button and of course even if they were, the panic button is broken this time of year. Willie isn't showing his sweat. "We'll tighten things up a little bit," he says as though the ship is steady and on course. "We've got another 10 days to go, and we'll tighten up a little bit. We will." Well, tighten up as in not so many mistakes or tighten...

What's that greyish matter in the middle of that pan Babu is eyeing? Intestine? The Chef's vomit? A giant worm? In certain circles they are alleging that the Number Five spot in the rotation is down to Park or The Pelfrey . Not to be confused with bats in the belfry . "He was especially charmed with the phrase 'bats in the belfry', and would indubitably substitute it for 'possessed of a devil', the Scriptural diagnosis of insanity." Oh yes lads, this will be one meandering post today which I will try over and over to reign back to the topic at hand, i.e. The Rotation . The first thing I think is hang on, let's not get ahead of ourselves - 5th starter? Who are the others? Glavine , five shutout innings yesterday against the Marlins, sure. El Duque is a muscle injury waiting to happen. John Maine , yes, whilst the auld boy Mr Anna Benson is out for the year with shoulder surgery , the sly move by Omar is still paying dividends. And hey, wh...

You might have been wondering like myself, where the hell are all the articles on Spring Training? Where are the promised positional comparisons with infinite, meticulous, forensic examinations of each team and each player in the NL East? No birthing articles on Mets prospects to date... Well, to use metaphors, the rite of Spring, I will not admit to not actually writing these columns much in the way that players will not admit they are actually hurt and their seasons are probably fecked. No, I will continue to string the fans along with a performance here and there willing my writing arm back to strength, nursing it through bottles of pino grigio and belgian witbeers as the planes fly overhead from Gatwick airport and tinge my outdoor evenings with memories of Shea Stadium and LaGuardia flight patterns. But this is to be about the Mets, not the Army in it's preseason embryonic form. And so we can start off with a few observations to date about the Spring: 1. Maybe Lastings Mil...

Although the focus for the duration of the offseason and the majority of time leading up to the intrasquad games has been on the paucity of confirmed starting pitchers in the Mets rotation and whether or not the haphazard collection of outcasts and youth can manufacture among them at least one brilliant and unexpected season, there are in fact, other areas of each team to focus on, believe it or not. Thus, with that in mind, we move forward, away from the mound and to the players who fill out the rest of the field. Today it will be ranking the corner positions for each NL East team. 1. NY Mets - Hey, who in the NL East has it so good at the corners? One of the finest young third basemen in baseball in the form of David Wright , likeable, enthusiastic, talented and young - combined with the enigmatic but steadily spectacular Carlos Delgado at first base. Sure, Delgado's .265 batting average last season was a disappointing tail off from seasons past but you can't really q...

There was alot of pissing and moaning over the past several days about the content of the previous review of NL East starting rotations, mostly remonstrative internal voices chiding the Army about the lack of imagination, the paucity of inspirational prose, the drab, dull straight forward spectulation punctuated by gratuitous photos of birds, fit and otherwise in a feeble attempt to provoke. Well, tough titties, as they say somewhere. Like the pitchers and catchers reporting this last week, the Army is out of shape prosaically and in need of verbal stretching, a few nights out in a slimy motel bar hanging with the groupies and a bit of sun. Instead we are encamped in a hotel just south of London with a strange new lap top keyboard attempting to acclimate to a winter barren of baseball (no, no Dominican League reports here) and the deadening lack of offseason activity by the Mets front office. Nonetheless, we shall struggle on with these previews with an eye towards improvement, flex...

With the first tentative whiffs of the 2007 season leaking through this dismal period between the Super Bowl and Spring Training, it's time for the Army to dust off the keyboard and type out the first few words for the season, a season of fear and trepid expectation following the Beltran At The Bat ending to 2006. In the next few weeks I will be previewing the NL East in pieces, usually by position and team as the struggle begins to suss out what to expect in the months of agony and euphoria to come. Fittingly, to begin with the starters...and to wake us out from our winter slumbers, I have aligned a female image with each rotation to depict the fitness and potential of that rotation. (I know, no novel concept but we all need a little jolt to get us going, don't we?) NL EAST STARTING ROTATIONS 1. Marlins : Will the D Train ever become a Met? 11-2 with a 2.03 in 16 starts lifetime pitching against the Mets of course is not the only reason he'd be an attractive addition ...

8th January 2007 - Realising in the wake of Barry Zito's ridiculus signing figures with the Giants that Johan Santana is going to be too expensive, the Twins announce they are willing to entertain offers for Santana. 9th January 2007 - Seeking to dispel rumours that the Mets are still seeking an ace starter, Omar Minaya announces that although the Mets are "interested" in Santana, they will not get into a major bidding war with other teams for Santana's services. "We are happy with the quality old timers we have at the front end of the rotation and the inexperience at the back of the rotation," Omar says. "I see no reason why El Duque can't win the Cy Young award this season." 10th January 2007 - Twins trade Santana to the Atlanta Braves for two unknown minor leaguers who everyone insists will be All Stars by 2015. 11th January 2007 - Mets announce the signing of free agents Bruce Chen , Mike DeJean and Tomo Ohka to minor league contrac...

2006 ends with much more uncertainty than it began. STILL a free agent... Last New Year's Eve already saw gifts of Billy Wagner , Carlos Delgado and Paul Lo Duca although there was the lingering uncertainty of Pedro's toe to keep hopes slightly dampened. This year with an impact starter at the height of their list of off season imperatives, there are no more impact starters available now that Barry Zito has signed for an absurd sum with the Giants, ending all speculation of the Mets having anything but an absurdly mediocre and agèd rotation to open 2007. Like any other fan, I'd have liked to have seen Zito pitching at Shea for the Mets next season but like any other reasonable fan, a 7 year contract at 126 million American dollars (not, as I thought at first glance, Canadian Dollars...) is alot of dosh for any one man who won't play every day and for a man who is in all likelihood, scheduled for his first major injury any day now having logged a massive 1,430 inning...

Bud v Pete

Whoops! Newest Philly OR, Baba Sheikh Farid Shakarganj? There we were debating the merits of underbidding the Texas Rangers for Barry Zito , there we were discussing selling New York and the Mets rather than the greenbacks in some inexplicable dialogue of economic theory in the sky. There we were debasing the Zito Chase by listening to the hints and whispers about trading for his soon-to-be former teammates, guys Omar classified as “Some guys have emerged who I didn’t know were available until I got here.” (hint: the injury-prone flame thrower Rich Harden and Joe Blanton ) and there we were listening to the encouragement of Beaneball who nods willingly at the rumours and asks, like a corner street hooker to be approached about both. And all the while, in the smoking rooms of Philly steak and cheese sweatshops all around the City of Brotherly Love, a sneaking little satori was taking place. The Phillies done stole Freddy Garcia from the White Sox. The unofficial rumour of only a...

I couldn't help but think upon the rumours of Milledge for lefty starter Mark Buehrle going sour how much Buehrle looks like Derek Jeter. Perhaps these photos don't capture the resemblance as accurately as the caffeinated imagination at 6:30 in the morning but there you go. SO do the Mets now have Señor Ambiorix Burgos in their clammy paws? I would be a tad sad to see Brian Bannister go after the promised hammies went south but this new guy's name alone is worth a few words, forget about the potential of, as Metsradamus aptly notes the 2007 version of Jorge Julio joining our side... Briefly, Abriorix was "the leader of the Eburones, a Belgian tribe. In the winter of 54/53 BCE, he destroyed of one of the legions of Julius Caesar, which resulted in the annihilation of his tribe." Sounds like the sort of up and down season Burgos had with the Royals in 2006. ***** The Lastings Milledge for Joe Blanton rumour is a very intriguing back up plan to not signi...

We can all breathe a little more freely now that Tom Glavine has decided to return to the Mets next season. No amount of money can live down that top... One less gaping hole in the rotation although considering the Braves didn't even offer a contract to their former employee, how difficult could the decision for Mr Glavine really have been to begin with? There were minor outpourings of indignation from a few sources considering the latitude Glavine was given to decide but frankly all one has to do is to consider where the Mets would have been had Glavine decided on their division rivals instead. Forget about where another "name" starter might have come from, another time-worn hurler with nearly impecable standards so vulnerable to the haphazard nature of an umpire's strike zone. The important issue here, underneath the headline, is that Tom Glavine won't win victory 300 in a Braves uniform. Take that, you heathens. Another blow struck against the auld empire...

Whilst the Mets are getting older by the day and waiting desperately for yet another 40+ regular in Tom Glavine to make the choice between Hell and Queens, whilst baseball fans across the pond are shoveling turkeys into their gobs and watching an unprecedented THREE NFL national holiday games, the Army will be trudging miserably through the gale-force winds and rain comfortable in the notion there is yet another cross-planet sporting occasion to stay up all night for. That's right, The Ashes . As baseball is rumoured to have be slightly older, the Ashes have been around since 1877, the traditional tournament between The Barmy Army and the hated Sheilas. This year it's Australia's turn to host and as such, the inaugural match of this test series began, (predictably perhaps, considering all the late-nights spent up watching the Mets) at 11 at night and goes on all through the morning. (Back from the tea break now at 6 am with the English getting a wee bit pounded at the m...

Ah yes, so we all remember the little controversy about the guy who urinates on his hands to toughen the skin and theoretically at least, improves his hitting. Well now he's a Met. So, the Mets made a little "splash" signing the oft-injured and rapidly ageing Moises Alou to replace the oft-injured and rapidly ageing Cliff Floyd in left field. Soon-to-be 41 year old for left field? (well, he'll be ONLY 40 until the All Star break...) I don't mean to be alarmist but didn't having a rotation of old timers come apart at the seams in time for the post season learn yea something about the fragility of the agèd? Yes, I unnerstan' - a bat against the lefties, something the Mets were alleged to sorely need late last season, is what Alou stands for. In fact, a .349 average against lefties last season. I see the logic in that sense. Another saavy veteran on the bench, I see that, yes. 98 games played last season due to injury. I see that too. On the heel...

"IT is not growing like a tree In bulk, doth make man better be; Or standing long an oak, three hundred year, To fall a log at last, dry, bald, and sere: A lily of a day 5 Is fairer far in May, Although it fall and die that night; It was the plant and flower of light. In small proportions we just beauties see; And in short measures, life may perfect be." from Ben Jonson A Part Of An Ode Now that the naming of the stadium controversy has subsided, blindsided as it were by a "bold" pair of roster moves involving our Mets and the Padres, I can happily proclaim the Mets to have just traded for a major English Renaissance dramatist and poet... Aha, not Ben Jonson but Ben Johnson . This is all so confusing. Not CitiPark but CitiField. CitiPark , unlike the new Mets stadium, is a parking facility in Vancouver. CitiField, unlike the parking facility in Vancouver, is a blueprint befitting a millenium of Mets dominatio...