Archie Bunker's Army

Whilst the Mets are getting older by the day and waiting desperately for yet another 40+ regular in Tom Glavine to make the choice between Hell and Queens, whilst baseball fans across the pond are shoveling turkeys into their gobs and watching an unprecedented THREE NFL national holiday games, the Army will be trudging miserably through the gale-force winds and rain comfortable in the notion there is yet another cross-planet sporting occasion to stay up all night for. That's right, The Ashes . As baseball is rumoured to have be slightly older, the Ashes have been around since 1877, the traditional tournament between The Barmy Army and the hated Sheilas. This year it's Australia's turn to host and as such, the inaugural match of this test series began, (predictably perhaps, considering all the late-nights spent up watching the Mets) at 11 at night and goes on all through the morning. (Back from the tea break now at 6 am with the English getting a wee bit pounded at the m...

Ah yes, so we all remember the little controversy about the guy who urinates on his hands to toughen the skin and theoretically at least, improves his hitting. Well now he's a Met. So, the Mets made a little "splash" signing the oft-injured and rapidly ageing Moises Alou to replace the oft-injured and rapidly ageing Cliff Floyd in left field. Soon-to-be 41 year old for left field? (well, he'll be ONLY 40 until the All Star break...) I don't mean to be alarmist but didn't having a rotation of old timers come apart at the seams in time for the post season learn yea something about the fragility of the agèd? Yes, I unnerstan' - a bat against the lefties, something the Mets were alleged to sorely need late last season, is what Alou stands for. In fact, a .349 average against lefties last season. I see the logic in that sense. Another saavy veteran on the bench, I see that, yes. 98 games played last season due to injury. I see that too. On the heel...

"IT is not growing like a tree In bulk, doth make man better be; Or standing long an oak, three hundred year, To fall a log at last, dry, bald, and sere: A lily of a day 5 Is fairer far in May, Although it fall and die that night; It was the plant and flower of light. In small proportions we just beauties see; And in short measures, life may perfect be." from Ben Jonson A Part Of An Ode Now that the naming of the stadium controversy has subsided, blindsided as it were by a "bold" pair of roster moves involving our Mets and the Padres, I can happily proclaim the Mets to have just traded for a major English Renaissance dramatist and poet... Aha, not Ben Jonson but Ben Johnson . This is all so confusing. Not CitiPark but CitiField. CitiPark , unlike the new Mets stadium, is a parking facility in Vancouver. CitiField, unlike the parking facility in Vancouver, is a blueprint befitting a millenium of Mets dominatio...

"There is no calamity greater than lavish desires. There is no greater guilt than discontentment. And there is no greater disaster than greed." --Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu I think it was the photo of Mayor Buffoonberg trying desperately to look blue collar with a shovel of dirt in his hand that set me off this morning. The ONLY guy/gal out there who wasn't wearing a hard hat. Whatsamattah Mikey, afraid you'll muss up those gorgeous locks of grey and your gorgeous age-spotted scalp? What we can note about CitiPark (CitiField), which is a deceptively catchy name with far less dignity than Jackie Robinson Stadium - (I mean if we're standing on history here, Jackie Robinson has alot more to do with baseball and the Mets than bloody Citibank, doesn't he? But Jackie Robinson wasn't a kazillionaire unfortunately for him and his family, so he'll get a nice little rotunda instead.) Yeah, let's celebrate the Mets for being capitalist whores like the Y...

Well alright, the postseason burn of Carlos Beltran leaving his bat on his shoulder with the bases loaded and two outs in the bottom of the 9th is officially history. Yes, I've been lamenting quietly these last few weeks but the true rationale for the paucity of posts is that frankly, I didn't know what to say next. Nor do I now but I reckon for anyone who has been visiting this site in the interim, we're all getting rather sick of seeing Roger Clemens so it's time for something new: The winter. Now the last two winters have been pretty good to the Mets. We signed Pedro and Beltran in one winter and then got Billy Wagner , Carlos Delgado and Paul LoDuca the next. (yes, there were other significant additions and subtractions but this isn't a bloody roll call or a body count, it's the Superstah we're pondering here...) So after these last two flurries of activity in the offseason, what does Brother Omar do for an encore? Possible target Barry Zito pi...

We've already (probably) got two Hall of Fame pitchers coming back again next season to our rotation, why not a few more? Bienvenidos al estadio de Shea Come and sniff my 8-4 2.93 ERA post-All Star break numbers... Couldn't help but rub my chin with a cosmogenic stare into the space of hyperbolization when I read the headlines this morning that Clemens, Pettitte File For Free Agency , and allowed mad scientist's thoughts to manifest themselves. These two, traveling as a pair, just as they were signed with Houston a few years back, on the way to Shea. Yes, far fetched, isn't it. Firstly, if they were going to do something crazy like leave the comfort homes of Texas for the mad-dash media feeding frenzies of New York, they would likely return clothed in pinstripes, not the auld Dodger Blue and Giant Orange of debauched Queens. But because this is early morning conjecture it doesn't have to be much based on reality, freeing one from the nagging constrictions that real...

Now that the hangover of the World Series is over the speculation will begin but until the speculation begins in earnest in the form of the Mets, the Army will be keeping busy on a few other venues, namely Sports Amnesia (mostly American football, English football and baseball, where appropriate) and Desultory Turgescence (not sports related, beware)... For those Mets-related items, switch back to the Army where practical for quasi-instant commentary on developing news for the Mets which we all hope and pray there will be plenty dollops of in the form of very good and very surprising news. As always, tanx fer readin!

"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something." -- Pancho Villa , last words There was an almost inescapable feeling leading up to that fated, final called strike curveball with the Mets' best hitter's bat still on his shoulders, that like they had all season, the Mets would pull a last-minute rabbit out of the hat once again. They didn't and in the moment after, the stinging reality that after 103 victories the Mets' season was finally over was partially assuaged by the fact that at least there should be no what-ifs haunting the memory over the winter months. If they had gone down without a whimper; a one-two-three bottom of the ninth to send everyone home it might have been a bitterer pill to swallow. That they went down rallying and fighting, struggling and clawing down to the final strike typifies the entirety of the season and the collective character of a team that battled adversity throughout. Expectations aside, there is no shame in la...

Pre Game Chatter - Well, it's pissing down here in the UK per usual. Fortunately not in New York. Admittedly, it was a dodgy proposition, having a couple Cidre Breton and staying up late without getting the requisite three hours nap before the 1 am wake up call to catch the beginning of this GAME SEVEN but if you're reading this, I must be writing it and thus, must have survived. It's only the day of work to follow that I will have to survive further and if the Mets win, I will survive it gladly with plans to do the auld lastminute.com business of getting to NYC for mid week. If they lose, well...there's always this ready-made noose to finish the plot...Just kidding of course, hahaha, he says manically. Save us from ourselves... ****don't ask what's happened to innings one through four, the stories would be long and painful and the baseball police are not giving any secrets away...***** Cardinals 5th - lead off single from Belliard, Suppan perfectly bunts ...

So, there will be a Game Seven after all. Just barely though, after Billy Wagner gave us more drama than any of us were really looking for and as you would expect, the Cardinals did not go down without a fight. The evening's hero, pumped after snuffing out the great Alberto with a K in the 5th But they did go down and they did stay down and with this 4-2 victory the Mets live for at least another night where still more questions will follow them. Following the superlative pitching of Tom Glavine in Game One, the gutty and passable pitching of Ollie Perez in Game Four, John Maine , as one of a short history line of rookies pitching in a championship series with elimination on the line shut the enigmatic Cardinals lineup out for a little over five innings, just enough for the Mets to take hold of the lead and keep it on the way to winning Game Six and forcing the decisive and final game of the NLCS at Shea. One ace down, one more to go... There's probably not enough that can b...

1:36 - Damn another late wakeup - missed the top half of the first with the Mets threatening, two hits - rushing about trying to get all the crap up on screen (including this new "enhanced" MLB Gameday which I haven't had a chance to look at yet,) and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. It's a commerical (naturally) and there's time to see that both Delgado and Wright failed to deliver with Reyes and Beltran on base...pity. Jumping on Weaver early could've killed the Kardinal spirit in Game Five and save us all alot of unnecessary nerve-fraying. St Louis First - Wonder if 13 consecutive shutout innings is unlucky, if Glavine shouldn't have pitched an extra shutout inning or given up a run in his last outing... Eckstein gets his first hit off of Glavine. With Pujols coming up, time to observe that in St Louieee, they're busy bashing Pujols and likening him to Barry Bonds. Wow. One so-so series to date and they're ready to pillory the bastid. Fo...

Glavine is 2-5 with a 6.75 ERA in his seven career postseason starts on fewer than four days of rest. Still, he's looking forward to pitching to Pujols, who dissed him after Game One: "I have a ton of respect for Albert. He's a great player. It's a great challenge when I face him individually. If he truly didn't think I pitched well the other night, then I hope I do something (Monday) night to really impress him. That would be a good thing." Scott Spiezio's blonde tattoo: gracias bump shack More crowd bashing from Cardinal fans ... Mets half of first inning, 2 out, 2 on, 2 strikes. I stood and starting cheering on Reyes. A male 30-something 2 rows behind me in a half empty section yelled at me to sit down. I said there were 2 outs & 2 strikes ! He replied, I paid for these seats and want to see. I sat down. Of course as soon as we got the third strike, the usher called me out and lectured me and said I could not stand during an inning. That set the mo...

This morning marks a very rare opportunity for the Army, a chance to see the Mets on the telly rather than imagining them through the internet radio waves. The UK's fifth terrestrial channel shows live or quasi-live broadcasts of what is usually ESPN's Sunday Night baseball game all season and this morning, it is the FOX Channel live broadcast of Game Four of the Mets-Cardinals series. Thus for the first time all season I'll be watching a Mets game in the comfort of the living room, just like the rest of America and jotting handwritten, illegible notes as the game goes on. Unfortunately, I awake from my late night nap a little tardy and it's already the bottom of the first inning, 0-0 when I click it on. St Louis 1st - Carlos Delgado drops the throw with Pujols coming up knowing Pujols hits Ollie Perez well and the first thing to imagine is jesus, we've got that kid out there starting his first playoff game ever and get the veterans, knowing what a dodgy propositi...