Archie Bunker's Army

They "almost" got it right. Initially, I had a mad inspiration, right around the bottom of the 7th after Beltran and Floyd had given the Mets what should have been a comfortable 6-3 lead, of naming this column K-dro! . Oh, how I yearned to commence typing out soft cooing noises and words of devotional infatuation with the best Met opening day pitching performance perhaps ever, with 12 K's in 6 innings in a winning effort... But that of course, was before Looper Loser entered the game in the bottom of the 9th with a chance to neatly tie up his first save of the season, and after even Manny Aybar and Dae Sun Koo had held it to a 6-4 lead for two innings whilst we held our collective breath in the expectation of disaster. After all, our bullpen, our Achilles Heel, was the second most repeated mantra of the spring behind the dreaded If He Stays Healthy caveat. Instead, the very same man who had surrendered only 5 homers in 83 innings of closing work last season, the ONE m...

Seven dreary months ago the Mets were closing out a 91 loss season with Art Howe somnambulating through his starring role as the Most Boring Man in Baseball, there was no staff ace unless you counted Al Leiter's 12-15 outs-per-start performances and no five tool superstar although it had been proven beyond any reasonable doubt that their one former superstar, Mike Piazza, had no business standing anywhere near first base unless it was as a baserunner. Seven dreary months ago, The Idiot Collective had traded the most exciting pitching prospect in the system for a sore-armed former Devil Ray who couldn't find the strikezone with a TIALD pod , and the superstar shortstop with the dazzling smile and the rice paper hamstrings had wasted another promising season with various interpid adventures on the DL whilst learning how to play second base only to go back to shortstop again when the shortstop they'd signed to play shorstop and moved their promising shortstop to second base f...

With Opening Day looming just over the horizan and most of the battles of Spring Training settled, now arrives the quiet before the storm and as such, no fitting debates over who bats 8th or who gets the last pen spot. Let the others do the chatting: And we can count on at least first base coach Jerry Manuel believes that the Mets will win it all this season, via Flushing Local . Well, actually, he only compares the possibility of this season's Mets with the '97 Marlins, but hey, it's a slow news day... There is talk about the remaining choices of the bullpen at Amazin Avenue. Piazza isn't catching the spotlight according to the Daily New of Philly: "He's 36 years old now. He spent more time at first base than behind the plate last season and, at one point, went 74 at-bats without a home run. In fact, he has hit a total of just 31 homers in the last 2 years. That's fewer than he'd had in any single season since 1994, when he hit 24 for the Dodgers....

Although there's a chance that nobody in New York is going to be able to watch it , now that they're breaking out the Opening Day batting order with regularity, we can begin to have an idea of just how potent the Mets might be offensively this season with the usual caveat of IF everybody stays healthy. In Reyes and Kaz Man in the 1-2 holes they've got one maniac on the basepaths who is hitting for average in Hamstring Jose for as long as he stays healthy and another guy you might see performing alot of sacrifices in the Kaz Man when he isn't whiffing. Kaz has struck out 13 times in 49 at bats this spring. Reyes is 8-for-8 in steals and has four triples in 63 at-bats. He won't make a steal prediction for the season, except to offer : "If I can stay healthy, watch out. That's all I can say. I can't say, 'I'm going to steal 30. I'm going to steal 50.' What can I say? I'm going to steal a lot. I'll tell you that." IF he stays h...

The new and improved sharp Kaz Ishii threw 25 pitches yesterday against Met minor league batters and 17 of them were strikes with only 8 balls. Hey, he didn't walk anyone!! In fact, he pitched two scoreless innings, gave up only a hit and struck out three. Does this mean Ishii is good or our minor league hitters are that bad? "Regardless of who was batting, I think I had very good control over my pitches," Ishii said. "I felt comfortable." Pitching coach Peterson was even more excited, I mean REALLY excited: "I was very excited," Peterson said. "Very, very excited. We did the same thing with him that we do with everyone. We want him to focus on making pitches and hit the glove. Velocity can win stuffed animals at the circus, hitting the glove gets people out. And that's what he did today." Tom Glavine faced Ishii in the minor league game and allowed three hits over eight innings, walking none and fanning five. He gave up one run, ...

What the last several days have left us with, rather than a clear impression of how we are going to enter the season only a week or so from now, are more questions about the pitching staff and perhaps even a morbid sense of doom that despite the optimism of the winter, reality will break through the clouds of spring and rain it's predictable gloom upon us as it has for the last several seasons. Do we believe enough in these "new" Mets to believe that they can overcome the recent history of failure and see us through a season untinged with the annual miseries? After another rainout that cancelled newcomer Ishii's first start as a Met yesterday, we were left with more time to neurotically chew over the questions about Pedro's stiff lower back and antagonise ourselves with memories of how only two weeks ago we were told Trachsel's back pain was part of the normal aches and pains of spring before his season was binned by an MRI that showed a herniation. One cann...

"I certainly have something to work on," - Tom Glavine, following yet another humiliating outing against his former team. One thing you can say about Tom Glavine is that at least he's consistent. Since jumping from the Braves to the Mets for more money, Tom Glavine has started seven regular season games for the Mets against the Braves. His record is 1-6 with an 8.76 ERA, 53 hits and 36 runs, 12 homers and 18 walks surrendered in 37 inglorious innings of ineptitude. Yesterday, in a Spring Training showdown against the Brave, Glavine, who prior to yesterday had been having a brilliant Spring, reverted back to his faux Braves form, allowing six runs and nine hits in 5 2-3 innings. The lefty gave up two home runs to Wilson Betemit, a utility infielder who has hit .261 during the past three years at Triple-A Richmond, and another to Ryan Langerhans, who is hitting just .176 (6-for-34) this spring. The Good News is, the rest of the Mets pitchers did not give up a run against t...

Ishii, The Meteorologist : "Of course I wanted to pitch for the Dodgers, but the Mets are a good team, too, so I want to pitch well for them," Ishii said of his trade. "I'll have to buy a coat because it's cold." in The Japan Times where they report "all the news without fear or favor" Ishii, The Optimist : When asked what he knew about the Mets, he said he was aware they had improved this winter and that he was here to "pitch for a ring." Presumably, he hasn't heard from Marlin Scumbag Carlos Delgado, who didn't sign with the Mets precisely because he didn't think they had as a good a chance as the Marlins to win. Ishii, the Psychologist : "It's a new environment," Ishii said . "(The move) will help me not only on the baseball side but the personal side as well." Ishii, the Cool "It doesn't really bother me, the number of walks," Ishii said through an interpreter about his lack of...

At least we don't see Omar sitting on his hands now that the fun of spending the Wilpons offseason money is over. With Steve Trachsel spent for the season following back surgery and Zambrano controlling the strike zone like a drunk controls the steering wheel of a misaligned auto on a crooked highway, it appears the Mets have quickly recongised the burning need for help and will trade for Dodgers Japanese lefthander Kaz Ishii to give the Mets the most players on their roster nicknamed Kaz in MLB. For the price of one magical Mr Ishii, the Mets will trade backup catcher Jason Phillips to the Dodgers . To show his seriousness, Phillips took his Playstation home from his locker after being informed by media members of the imminent trade. Phillips is hitting a team-leading .550 in 20 at bats for the Mets this spring but the Mets appear content with Ramon Castro as Piazza's backup. This takes alot of steel cajones , to dump the capable and popular backup to an oft-injured backst...

In a day filled with ups and downs, promising notes and disappointments, it was confirmed that Trachsel is going under the knife on Saturday morning. "I spoke to Steve tonight and his voice was very determined," said Mets general manager Omar Minaya. "I said to him, 'Get well soon so you can be back for the second half of the season' and he agreed." He agreed? Well, isn't that chummy of him. Trachsel reportedly sounded "very determined" about pitching again this season. I suppose he hasn't much choice but the bottom line is he'll be out AT LEAST three months and considering at 34, he's far from what you might call a spring chicken, the more conservative estimate of six months might be closer to a reality that isn't based on sniffing glue. That moves us to mid-September. That's pretty much the season. It's probably safest for Mr Trachsel to bid 2005 adieu and focus on 2006 whilst the Mets start focusing on filling...

Well, it isn't as hysterical as the Cubs rotational problems with Wood and Prior suffering, but the Mets learned that starting pitcher Steve Trachsel's back problem may be MUCH more serious than the Mets initially believed. In fact, initial speculation indicates that he may be suffering from a herniated disc . This, as we know from all the stories of herniated discs, is not likely good news. There's a good chance that he'll need surgery and if Trachsel undergoes the procedure, he could miss at least six months. If surgery is not deemed necessary, Trachsel could miss as little as three months. Of course, if he misses the first three months of the season, it's a pretty safe bet he'll be ineffectual for the majority of the season anyway. So, immediate contingency plans became painfully obvious. If Trachsel were out for any length of time, the Mets would need a fifth starter. (This is to say nothing about Zambrano's horrific spring which would lead many to bel...

How crazy is Kris Benson's 3 year $22.5 million contract that everyone was angry at the Mets for overpaying for this offseason if Benson goes on to win 20 games? Ok, ok, a couple of decent Spring Training outings does not a 20 game winner make but an ERA of 2.57 after 7 innings pitched and only 5 hits surrendered so far, isn't a bad place to start. Benson gave up two hits and two runs in four innings and held Detroit hitless for the first three innings. While Benson was having another promising outing, fellow starting pitcher Steve Trachsel was having an MRI . Trachsel emerged for his most recent start -- 3 1/3 innings against the Orioles on Thursday -- throwing 59 pitches, six fewer than had been planned, with lower back pain although that pain wasn't why he'd thrown fewer pitches than expected. Normal back pain is to be expected this time of year but since Trachsel still felt stiff and sore two days later, the Mets are being cautious and will scratch Trachsel from his...

"Teenage Mary said to Uncle Dave I sold my soul, must be saved Gonna take a walk down to Union Square You never know who you're gonna find there You gotta run, run, run, run, run Take a drag or two Run, run, run, run, run..." --Velvet Underground: Run Run Run Sure, you expect it of a healthy top three in Reyes, Kaz Man and Beltran, but now Wandering Willie has the Mets more aggressive on the basepaths . It rings rather ominous at times. "We're going to run ourselves out of a lot of innings, but we're going to create a lot of innings because of what we do. There are going to be a lot of fans complaining about how we run the bases, but that same person who says we shouldn't have done that the next day will be saying, 'That's a hell of a play.'" If you're planning on running yourself OUT of alot of innings before you even get started, you've got to wonder about careless aggression. Maybe once in awhile would be acceptable, but if al...

Mike Cameron's offseason has been a rollercoaster of self-perpetuated drama and has throbbed like a nagging toothache in the back of the mouth of the Mets rightfield plans all during this offseason and Spring Training. First, Cryin' Mike's role was that of the magnaminous team player volunteering to shift from his normal spot in centerfield to rightfield should the Mets (winkwink) somehow happen to land Carlos Beltran as a free agent. Shortly thereafter, Cameron revealed that he'd had surgery to repair damaged cartilage in his left wrist, elevating the urgency of signing a centerfielder, at least temporarily, who might be available on opening day. Then, to everyone's disbelief, but most especially Mike Cameron's, the Mets managed to sign Carlos Beltran as their new centerfielding superstar and suddenly Mike Cameron, injured wrist and bruised ego, was no longer quite so magnaminous and especially queasy about the idea of moving from centerfield to rightfield. I...

Well, even the darkest hour lasts only 60 minutes as they say. A day after getting humiliated by the Braves, the Mets bounced back to beat the Orioles 7-4 . Of course, the O's are not in the NL East and thus, are not our rivals and eternal nemesis but hell, it's Spring and there's still time to stand in line for our yearly dollop of optimism. Speaking of which, Mr Anna Benson made his first start for New York, going three innings, allowing one earned run on three hits in a 41-pitch effort. He retired the final seven batters he faced. I guess it'll be at least another start before we can ask will the real Kris Benson please stand up ? He may have gotten through his start, gasp, without allowing a run. But two balls grounded in the direction of Andres Galarraga, filling in for Doug Mientkiewicz, ran under the 43-year-old's glove and into right field for base hits. I'm all for a roster spot for El Gato if he can pick up his play, and frankly, it's a great s...

Is this an unfortunate harbinger of bad times to come? Sound familiar? Glavine, zinged by his former team, Braves star pitcher strangles Mets in debut and we hear yet again that familiar refrain: Braves win another , this time, by a 5-0 margin? During his first five big league seasons -- all with the A's -- new Brave Tim Hudson compiled a 3.30 ERA and .702 winning percentage. Doesn't look like the change in uniform and leagues has changed his pitching ability and it doesn't look like a rollover of the rotation has hurt the Braves. More of the same headaches for us as always. Oh yeah, and in case you missed it: Danny Kolb, the closer the Braves imported from the Brewers to allow John Smoltz to return to the rotation, retired the side in order in the third and struck out Kaz Matsui. Kolb averaged just 3.3 strikeouts per nine innings last season. On the bright side, Glavine wasn't really zinged by the Braves. He allowed two runs, both unearned as a result of a Jason...

"First things first, but not necessarily in that order." -- Doctor Who 31 seemingly random observations whilst watching the Nationals first-ever game and the Mets Spring Training opener internet broadcast on MLB TV yesterday: 1. Doug Mientkiewicz batting cleanup for the Mets. With Piazza and Cliff Floyd out of the lineup, Mientkiewicz was slotted behind Reyes, Matsui and Beltran. Oddly unimposing but better looking at first than Fat Mo Vaughn in any case. 2. The rage is the new uniforms, new merchandising. Only problem for me is, the way the shirts read Nationals across the front gives me the creepy feeling I'm watching the National League All Star team sans the All Stars. It'd be much less confusing and infinately cooler to have NATS embossed across the front. 3. With the sale of Nats merchandise almost surpassing even the World Champion Red Sox, you have to wonder whether or not the owner intentionally postponed the sale of the team solely so they could ...