Archie Bunker's Army

Now dying, now dead. I love the altruism of supporting losers. I really do. But that's the beauty of altruisms of others. It can be appreciated from afar. So that's where I will appreciate the Metsies from henceforth. Afar. Very afar. So far I won't even hear the baseball scores any more.

Philly 92-70 Atlanta 91-71 Marlins 80-82 Mets 77-85 Nats 68-94 St Louis 94-68 Chicago 84-78 Cincinnati 81-81 Milwaukee 77-85 Houston 74-88 Colorado 88-74 Arizona 87-75 LA 85-77 SF 83-79 SD 69-93 St Louis - Atlanta Philly - Colorado St Louis - Philly Philly NYY 103-59 Boston 99-63 Tampa Bay 96-66 Baltimore 77-85 Toronto 73-89 Detroit 88-74 Minnesota 85-77 Chisox 84-78 Cleveland 78-84 KC 66-96 Oakland 87-75 Texas 85-77 Seattle 83-79 Anaheim 83-79 Detroit - Boston NYY - Oakland NYY - Boston NYY - Philly rematch

I can't imagine people applying for season tickets to see the Mets this year. Not unless they're looking for a rerun of last season tragicomedy. I can't even imagine stumping up a few American dollars for the MLB.com dodgy video feeds this year. I mean I'll probably break down and do it but at this point, I still can't imagine it. It'll probably happen in a drunken stupor, waxing nostalgic about some sort of nihilistic wonder and inner delusion chancre. But we have to give the Mets credit. They did, in essence, nothing to make us think 2010 would be any better than 2009's nightmare. They got Jason Bay , true. But that was the bare minimum requirement. That and waving good riddance to Carlos Delgado . Replaced by the magical middle of the road nobodies, Dan Murphy and Mike Jacobs . Be still my bitter heart. That pair are hitting a combined 17 for 80 or an emblematic .212. Good thing it doesn't count. Yet. They signed no one else of any...

It's pitchers and catchers soon. Ironically, the Mets don't seem to have much of either and those that they do have are full of question marks; Puntos de Interogación Iniciales and Puntos de Interrogación Finales. In other words, the off season was remarkably similar to the 2009 season; dollops of delusional, wishful thinking. I think you definitely stand pat with last year's rotation. After all, Santana says he's better and we should always believe what the Mets organisation and willing athletes publically declare about their injuries. That means he'll probably win 30 games this season to avoid being thrown too far off track by last season's premature ending. Of course, he's a year older as well. And can we really believe his physical woes are over with a simple elbow surgery, bone chip removal surgery? His return has been almost too easy. You've got to wonder if the simple surgery was done to put off an inevitable, career-threatening sur...

I like it when the word "intangibles" is the best word you can find to describe a new Mets signing. It makes my heart flutter with excitement. Who needs Orlando Hudson when you've got intangibles? I'm reminded of Donald Rumsfeld ruminations on the matter: "There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know." Frank Catalanotto is one of those things we don't know we don't know and yet another reason, along with the signing of Fernando Tatis and Josh Fogg that we don't need to know what we don't know because we don't even know that we don't know it yet. 2010 Mets Promotional Poster can finally be revealed I mean Frank Catalanotto could make a great bench coach for the Buffalo Bisons. Just think how valuable that could be to Buff...

The key man to Major League Baseball's 2010 season has finally decided on which team is the lucky winner in the Fernando Tatis Sweepstakes . After months of nail-biting competition, the NY Mets finally emerged as the victors, securing the signature of baseball's most coveted player and virtually guaranteeing their first World Series appearance since 2000. YES! The man who can walk and somehow balance a batting helmet on his head at the same time is nearly a Met...

One can only imagine, watching the parade of free agents either ignore the Mets or be ignored by the Mets, that there is an ongoing Free Agent Conspiracy meant to disable any early Spring hope Mets fans might be silly enough to feel inspired by as the doldrums of winter rattle on. Give me happiness or...Give me Mets... Granted, each free agent pitching pursuit came with his own set of problems. Ben Sheets is injury-prone. Randy Wolf was overpaid (3 years $30 million to the Brewers who are becoming the Mets of the Midwest having given Willie Randolph and Rick Peterson jobs), Joel Pineiro's name was too confusing too spell plus he wanted to get paid on the basis of a career year he's not likely to repeat (yes, before last season, his ERAs in the previous five seasons: 5.15, 4.33, 6.36, 5.62, 4.67...) Then you had Jon Garland going to the Padres for pennies which was the signing the Mets are going to regret not making all season. Not that Garland is going to win th...

Well since there appears to be a day or two pause in the incessant march of incompetence in the Met front office have some Tom Waits instead:

I've always just assumed Omar was going to sit pat and point out best case scenarios rather than get down to adding some shade and depth to the starting rotation. I mean, not dealing with problems and taking the most impractically optimistic position is his speciality, is it not? So I wasn't too enamoured with any of the rumours. Until this one . Actually, it's not even a rumour, it's just an observation. Work horse starter for a rotation that chocka with question marks and guys who rarely pitch very far out of the 5th inning. For a second, I almost got excited. Then I remembered that Beltran is already going to miss the first month of the season and predictably, the Mets front office fumbled even something as simple as surgery in spectacular fashion. At least they are consistently incompetent. You just know you needn't bother raising your hopes and can instead raise the white flag before the season has even started.

I'm going to enroll in the school of thought that says let's piss off the guy who pretends to be the team leader but bunts with men on base instead of going for the multi-run homer . Please let Carlos Beltran play mad. He owes the team some leadership. Being content hasn't worked. maybe being mad will.

In a weak effort to see what, if any prospects there are to resolve the dismal prospects for the 2010 Mets and in particular, the shambles that is currently the pitching staff, I've unearthed the following: The Mets, to put in it in the local parlance, are fecked. Although Chewy hasn't pitched in organised baseball in several years, he is rumoured to be on Omar's radar having recently thrown two innings in the Inter Galactic Winter Leagues this month... First of all, what they desperately need as you all know, is at minimum, starting pitching, ideally, a strong number two starter and innings eater. Newsflash: there isn't one available and the one guy, Jon Garland , who at least qualifies as an inning eater (though certainly not a number two starter), is rumoured to want to stay on the West Coast. What that means is that barring some unforeseen miracle, as in ANY of the Mets starters not named Johan Santana suddenly learning how to pitch more than five or six innings,...