Archie Bunker's Army

We're in strange limbo at the moment. With intrasquad games coming up tomorrow and Wednesday, Met followers have been treated to the daily drama of Pedro's toe and the usual pattern of questions about weaknesses and strengths. The Meat and Potatoes of the Mets batting order discuss the latest Crack whore video ... So far all we know is that the collective wisdom says Mets are good only on paper so far and so much hangs in the balance of not only Pedro's health, but the rest of the starting rotation's dubious but still potentially dangerous abilities and the enormous question mark of whether the combination of Duaner Sanchez and Jorge Julio is going to be sufficient to give Billy Wagner games to save. You could chew your fingernails over who will play second and who will bat second but these are idle preoccupations of minds wilting with anticipation for what the arms will bring. When you aren't freezing your arse off waiting for tickets , that is. I mean dedicati...

Simply had to include this photograph of Kaz Matsui reaching for the stars in Spring Training yesterday because it's the most athletic move we've seen him make in two years. Signing Kaz Matsui two years back was somewhat imperative for a limping Mets franchise, or so I we thought. Yes, he's disappointed mightily but now he's come full circle. The expectation is not only that he'll fail where others would have succeeded, but that his season is doomed before it even begins with Brett Boone sputtering along attempting to rebound from a horribly ageing season and Anderson Hernandez looming on the horizan. The interesting part of this of course is that the Kaz Man is playing in the last year of a thus far wasted contract, Boone is playing for his career and Hernandez is trying to stay in the Major Leagues. All of them are playing a high stakes game from which the Mets can only benefit. One of them is going to have a great Spring and one of them is going to be the st...

(gracias to the Waffler The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, better known to the civilised world as toilet paper, report that Chipper Jones might withdraw from the upcoming World Baseball Classic. His 18-month-old son, Shea, had a serious intestinal virus and was in and out of an Atlanta hospital for a month. The toddler's condition has improved and stabilized, but Jones wants to make sure Shea is OK before deciding whether to go to Phoenix March 2 for the start of the United States' team training camp. -- Awwwww, god speed to Shea. Chippah can break a leg. ***** Asian Balls Are "Different It doesn't take much more than a surface examination to see the main differences between the Rawlings WBC ball and the balls used in Asia. Cowhide, Rawlings' covering of choice since 1974, presents a challenge to pitchers who are accustomed to the horsehide balls used in Japan and elsewhere in Asia. Although a layman may no...

For lack of any other massive story lines on the first day of Spring Training, there is of course, always time to talk about The Toe. Pedro did some long tossing and clad in his new, custom-made, toe-cushioned cleats, pronounced himself reasonably fit, under the circumstances: "It's improving," Martinez said. "I'm feeling more comfortable. It's going to take a little time, but I'm very optimistic about the way things are." And whilst we’re on the subject, in particular, it’s the sesamoid bone -- a small bone that protects the tendon that flexes the toe – which is the bone of contention, so to speak: So study hard, boys and girls, this could potentially be the story of the Mets’ season and while we won’t bother worrying too much about it just yet, best to bone up on the area in question once we are overwhelmed with medical jargon to explain why the season is going up in flames… On an encouraging if not outright sensationalist note, it appears that the...

Is it possible? Relaxed rules in the clubhouse, outbreaks of facial hair and salsa music? Is Willie on Chill Pills already? So says he about how he intends to loosen the reigns a little bit, let hell break loose, not all hell, just bits and bobs of it, or so we think. "For instance, if I feel like saying it's OK to wear a goatee this year," he says with a deranged twinkle in his eye, "I might even change that eventually. It could be music or whatever. I'm not saying I'm going to change that. I'm just saying if I feel like that, I'll do it. I never feel like I'm a taskmaster, going for the whip. I just go with what I feel for the team." The first sore hammy has yet to be strung and already Willie is at his mid-season enigmatic best. What if he allows goatees and Crazy Jug Band sounds, but only on the road? At home it's back to the smooth shave and headphones: There's no telling the lengths Willie will go to relax a clubhouse tha...

After several months haitus rehabilitating his writer's elbow and typist's fingers, quaffing a significant supply of real ales and tea biscuits, Jaap Stijl announced his return to the editororial staff at Archie Bunker's Army and pronounced himself "One hundred percent healed, one hundred percent healthy and eager to put the past behind us, eager for the season to begin." Looking as though he had spent the winter months with his fingers in newspaper portions of fish n chips, elbow deep in malt vinegar and mayonaise, Mr Stijl caustically denied rumours of an extensive rehabilitation programme and reiterrated his commitment to being part of the Mets blogsophere that will "revel in the making of history, in the rebirth of the Mets in the NL East and a return to casual domination." Refusing to take questions from reporters, Mr Stijl asked that readers and colleagues alike "end the endless speculations of the universe and focus on the business at hand....