Subway Series Doublheader Diary Game 1

18:12 Pregame - listening to online WFAN to get warmed up. It's Friday, post-work in England, pissing down, got eight 440 ml draught cans of Guinness, combustibles and Mike Francesa is busy proving with a vengeance what a champion moron he is - I'd almost forgotten after all this time...I lost track of how many stupid things he said after about 45 seconds. After the first few I was going to keep a long list of stupid comments by Francesa but then I realised without a stenographer, it's impossible. And thankfully at least the Maddog has got a day off. That makes sense. Biggest NYC baseball day of the season and he's got the day off. Looking for work, no doubt.

Anyway, took advantage of free 5 day subscription to the MLBTV promotion so if all goes well I'll have the good fortune of watching rather than just listening. A dollop of Keef Hernandez to keep things interested. I sense from reading It's Mets For Me with my tea and crumpets every day that this isn't always the most reliable of sources - we'll see.

Hang on, 18:21, Francesa is 'splainin' the bad blood with his douchebag partner...
Christ, what the FUCK did Maddog say yesterday? Fat Boy waxing poetic about their relationship. Shrugs his shoulders about whether or not their idiot sitcom will go on after 19 years. Please, some tissues...


18:32 So far, nothing. Blank screen. I know the game doesn't start for a half an hour but won't they have a pregame? Fuck it, switch to WFAN in the interim....

After 7 consecutive minutes of commericals and a brief soundbite I realise Endy Chavez and Jose Reyes should have an English mangling contest. Speak Spanish, boys - nobody's going to hold it against you. At least then a few people will understand you.

Pre-game interview with HoJo explaining the listlessness of the Mets lineup after jumping to their 8 run lead the other night against Seattle, said "Good things happen but it doesn't show up in the numbers." - doesn't that mean failure? Then alot of mumbling about injuries and balance and so and so not being Alou and Church. The day off versus game off theory he expoused about resting David Wright...makes sense though. HoJo's a good bloke but sometimes I just fucking hate the sports cliches that get bandied about in lieu of real words.

18:48 OK, more commericals - going to try the MLBTV again....
Sweet F.A. on. No sound no video. Not even buffering. Just playing and nothing happening. What a great promotion. Yeah! Give me a full year's subscription to this!

19:01 Good news and bad news. Good news is, it's working. Bad news, it's the fucking Yankee network with that douchebag Michael Kay. If this gets real bad, I'm going to have to switch to the FAN until the night game when the Mets are home and we get the Mets broadcast....


Top of the 1st: Dan Giese is the typical sort of pitcher the Mets flail against. A virtual nowhere man, almost no MLB experience, Cy bloody Young against the Mets. How many times have they been embarassed by a pitcher with no experience? Anyway, bad omen. Reyes out on strikes. Amazing that McClelland, the home plate ump, called the George Brett pine tar game and also David Wells' perfect game. Certainly a pitcher's ump. Well the Mets get some nice run manufacturing, a walk, stolen base and RBI single...Delgado is hitting .229. Jesus.

Commercial break: Holy shit, you can vote 25 times for the All Star game? So the game's going to be held in Zimbabwe?

Bottom of 1st: Nice debriefing from David Cone on the difference between the two seam and four seam pitch which is supposedly Pelfrey's bread and butter. Lefties hitting .350 against Pelfrey. No wonder he gets killed. Castillo could not make the play on A-Rod's blooper and Beltran is sitting on top of the centerfield wall and could not run in quick enough to make the play...Here come's Pelf's moment to shine. Broken bat RBI single for Cheesily Moustache Steroid Boyo Giambini. The two-seamer moving away so difficult that it broke Giambi's bat. Dan Werthen makes his inaugural visit to the mound to hold Pelf's hand and whisper sweet nothings about what a big bad muthafuckah Pelf is and just git these bastids out, etc in the faint hope that Pelf doesn't take this too seriously and suffer a meltdown. Does it matter much anymore? His pitch count is going off the rails already. And in the end all three outs recorded were Ks. No wonder the pitch count is so high.

MLB.COM commercial break :now they've got video updates by mobile phone on every and any game being played. Pssst. Stickball match going on corner of E 7th St and 2nd Avenue...well, it's the other side of the pond so getting video messages from MLB overseas might end up costing more than flying in to see the bloody games in person...

Top of 2nd: Trot Nixon, a "nose on the dirt" kind of guy according to Michael Kay. Wow, what an engaging intellect that muppet has. And can he please stop talking like he's holding his nose? I gets annoying after 5 seconds or so...Suddenly the video feed goes kaput. Blank screen. After a bit of hyperbolic cursing and a reboot of the website, bam, back in the game only this time, like a dream, the Mets already have runners on st and 3rd with 1 out. But then, Schneider, deservedly batting 9th in the absence of a hitting pitcher, the automatic out and Reyes, blahhhhh, end of inning. So much for that rally.

Monkey cam break

Let's go Mets or I'll put a knife to your thoat...

Bottom 2nd: Cano doubles and you wonder if Jeter is the only righty hitting in this lineup today with the lefty-shy Pelf on the mound. Two-seamer and sinker away are a buffet for lefties. But Pelf lives to tell about it for another inning.

Commercial Break: More MLB self-promotion. Will someone give Harold Reynolds a real job now please? Isn't his penance over yet?

Top of 3rd, 1-1: Smile of the Game? What the fuck? How do they know it's the smile of the game when it's only the 3rd bloody inning? Won't there be any fit birds arriving laugh to have a larf and show us a big toothy smile, a Missus Ed sort of horse smile of the Game? And as the cam goes back to the field I can see the years have not made Posada's ears any smaller. Couldn't he get surgery for that? Ear reduction surgery, like? But ho, look at Castillo who is not looking like an arthritic auld man any more today, stumbling around with all the agility of Fred Sanford. Two times on base in the first two at bats and two stolen bases. Must be on something new. Michael Kay begins a lengthy discussion on whether or not the players will shower between games. What's next, chatting about the plethera of colours in Giambi's stools? ....woa, SEE YA. Beltran pops a 2 run homer over the short RF porch, 3-1. Kay points out that the Mets' batting order is basically the first four guys and a bunch of empty jerseys after that. Delgado strikes out on queue.

Commerical Break

Bottom 3rd, 3-1: Feel good moment is over abruptly. Jeter, lead off double. A-Rod's RBI single rockets past Reyes. Great little story from Cone about Rickey Henderson referring to himself in the third person: Up against Cone on an 0-2 count, Henderson steps out of the box and starts talking to himself: "C'mon Rickey, you're a Hall of Famer..."...Giambi, no Hall of Famer, walks. Pelfrey in difficulties with one out against Dumbo. Beltran, back on top of the centerfield wall, rushes in and misses Dumbo's bloop single to load the bases. C'mon back on the field, Beltran. Fuck sake, over your head is a homer, stop giving up cheap singles...2-0 count on Can-No...trouble...Reyes makes a great stab to steal Can-No's near certain hit but Yankees still tie the game. Wright "nearly" makes a spectacular bare handed grab but nope, Yankees go up 4-3, the mutts.

Commercial Break "Dodge. Grab Life" - what the fuck does that mean? Driving a pickup truck makes my life worth living?

Top of 4th: Watch this: Yankees answer both times the Mets score. If Met's don't score in this inning to up the ante again, it'll be game over, demoralisation complete... And there you go, 1-2-3 inning.

Commerical Break

Bottom of 4th: Getting there, believe me. It's amazing how much Guinness one can consume in 4 meagre, albeit drawn out innings..Tatis makes a great stop at first base, Pelfrey though, lost the ball. Then Wright saves Pelf from throwing it away to 3rd and stomps on Melky's ankle for good measure. Bonus. Dan Warthen back out again after 74 pitchers. Dumbo with the bases chucked, ooooh this is bad. But nyet, the day is saved.

Commecial Break

Top of 5th: Bases loaded nobody out, is Carlos Beltran going to bunt? No! Speed in addition to power, tie game, hooo-haaa. Delgado up though, that'll be the end of the inning. Hitless in last 12 at-bats but hooooo, what's this??? Clutch 2-run double? Next stop: The Apocalpse. Mets 6 Yankees 4.

I hate the Yankees and Michael Kay in particular, but this still beats getting dragged into homicidal rage by those Fox Chimps.

what? who snuck this bong up in here? This reminds me - perhaps you've heard that 1st of July the smoking ban takes effect in Holland. You might wonder about what happens to the coffee shops if there's no smoking...easy solution, you ban indoor smoking joints with tobacco in them. As if to say, go ahead, tobacco is bad but more THC in your system is better.

(editor's note: by now the consumption of banned substances are beginning to take their toll. The penmanship on the game notes decrease to illegibility, the stammering and hyperventilating tag team of incoherence make watching the game the sole activity.)

Suffice it to say Carlos Delgado wakes up in the 6th again to hit a grand slam and blow the game wide open which in turn, calls for a delivery of Chinese in celebration, firecrackers out the window and then, sweet bliss, the gradual stopping of the Yankees in Yankee Stadium.

A good afternoon out, boys. A good stomping. And Pedro coming up in the nightcap.

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