De Lovely Couple Or De Impending Disaster?

"It's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely" - Cole Porter



I have to admit, when I first saw this photo and the nearly gushing article that accompanied it, I could nearly feel myself, as though in a preternatural dream of Spring Training, reaching for a little brown paper bag to hyperventilate into.

"So please be sweet, my chickadee
And when I kiss ya, just say to me
"It's delightful, it's delicious, it's delectable,
it's delirious,
It's dilemma, it's de limit, it's deluxe, it's
de-lovely"

Because yet again we are reminded not only around us, as the winter's bleak veneer slowly cracks, but also in baseball, as through those cracks makes way for the promise of renewal, the warmth of summer days slowly grinding in to long, hot Augusts and mind-numbing Septembers where seemingly insurmountable leads evaporate...

"You can tell at a glance what a swell night this is
for romance
You can hear dear Mother Nature murmuring low "Let
yourself go"

Well, Mother Nature...not even with Johan and Pedro, or Johedro, if you like, the two-headed one-two gob stopping force majeure of National League rotations, am I quite ready to let myself go.

Not even this early. Not even with the whisper campaign that Pedro is in vintage form growing louder by the day.

Nope.



Not with the injuries piling up reminding us that whilst Omar has indeed assembled a veteran squad he has equally assembled an auld squad. Two penciled daily starters alone; Moises Alou in left field and the seemingly gimp-kneed and ill-fated Luis Castillo at second base are by nature likely to miss more games than they play this season.

Added to the mixture is the dodgy right hip of Carlos Delgado, the starting first baseman whose swing, power and career may hinge upon "impingement" as the hip condition is so mysteriously hailed. There goes the theory of a comeback season from a rapidly aging free agent to be.

So you think well, three of the eight every day positions are essentially up-for-grabs when you consider the people playing those positions will be on the DL or recovering from the DL or ailing and less-than-ideally performing in between stints on the DL.

Then you think hang on, a strong breeze out into centerfield could set Carlos Beltran into a whirlwind of aches and pains as well and sure, he might keep quiet about it whilst his power numbers dwindle and his batting averages hovers at the corner of disappointment and mediocrity but the gist of it is, he plays at least a quarter of most seasons at half speed due to ailments.

And just look at the Laurel and Hardy impression the other day between Marlon Anderson and Jesus Is Your Only Saviour Church that almost killt the pair of them. This is what happens when you put second string second basemen at first base and muppets dreaming about salvation in right field. Collisions. Errors. Disasters.

And the catchers? Well, despite the long winter tales of his acumen with pitcher-handling and brilliant defense, I'm sorry, Brian Schneider is not my pin-up starting catcher. And whilst serviceable and perhaps even sporadically exciting, Ramon Castro is equally a name that will not blanket the All Star ballot this season. Neither one is particularly sprite or adept and surely we will be scouring the minor league depth charts come June looking for replacements, won't we?

But this is being picky. Curmudgeonesque almost. After all, we've got what might be the two best pitchers in the National League going one-two in our rotation. Don't we?

"You can tell at a glance what a swell night this is
for romance
You can hear dear Mother Nature murmuring low "Let
yourself go"

And of course Spring, with its warming winds after a long, cold winter brings forth yet again its most delightful creature: the fit bird shedding her winter rags...