30.1.08

Omar, You're Beautiful!

After a long, bleak and dark winter Omar Minaya finally emerged with Prize, Johan Santana.


Oh, Johan!

And after a long, bleak and dark winter of worries that Omar would surrender the entirety of the Mets farm system for a shot at The Magic Mojohan, in the end, in the eyes of those in the know, Omar pants'd another GM.

Well, perhaps this is a bit over the top. Outfielder prospect Carlos Gomez and righthanders Deolis Guerra, Philip Humber and Kevin Mulvey one might argue, represent the future of the Mets pitching staff and a potential All-Star outfielder but in reality, who the fuck cares about the future, we've got Johan Santana, the best pitcher in baseball now!

According to Baseball America:

"The two best prospects in the trade, Guerra and Gomez, come with high ceilings but also lack a lot of polish and have a long ways to go to reach their potential. The odds that they both will do so are slim.

Guerra has an 89-94 mph fastball and a promising changeup and he’s only 18. But he also has a below-average breaking ball, has yet to pitch more than 90 innings in a season and while he has held his own, he hasn’t dominated. Gomez had the best package of tools in the Mets system, but his bat is still extemely raw as evidenced by his career .273/.331/.384 averages in the minors.

Mulvey has an arsenal of four average pitches and throws strikes. He’s not overpowering and he’s most likely a No. 4 starter. Since having Tommy John surgery in 2005, Humber hasn’t fully regained the stuff that made him the No. 3 overall pick in the 2004 draft. His curveball is his best pitch but his fastball now sits at 87-91 mph. He too projects as a No. 4 starter.

The Twins have traded Santana for two high-reward but also high-risk prospects, and two back-of-the-rotation starters."


In other words, thanks for finally waking up, Omar. Thanks for making this an off season to remember and a season to look forward to rather than a nightmare to try and forget before it even begins!



But in the words of Winston Wolf, "Let's not start sucking each other's dicks quite yet, gentlemen."

There is after all, the caveat of having to sign Santana to an extension by Friday before the deal officially goes through.

Of course to blow the deal at this stage would be something like, oh, I dunno, blowing a huge fucking lead over the Phillies in a late-season tailspin, an historic collapse, the likes of which has been rarely duplicated in the history of baseball. And yes, we know what depths the Mets are quite capable of but this, lads and lasses, is The NL East served on a silver platter. Not even the front office muppets can quibble about $150 million over 6 years for the Venezuelan Cy Young.

I mean we've got baseball ace and we've still got Fernando Martinez and a few righties in Eddie Kunz and Brant Rustich to dream about in seasons to come.

This is what they call in the local venacular, a fucking steal. A bigger steal than the Nats nabbing Lastings Milledge for a worn down catcher and an over-rated Jesus Freak outfielder. It's a deal, it's a steal, it's the sale of the fucking century!

And of course, this does not solve the bullpen worries or make Carlos Delgado or Moises Alou and younger or healthier, doesn't make Willie a smarter manager, doesn't keep Billy Wagner from choking in key spots, but for once this winter we can say what the fuck, hold our heads high and give the baseball world something more to talk about than our historic collapse this Spring.

4 comments:

sanchez said...

I can't help but think this is some elaborately premature April Fool's joke...

Jaap said...

indeed, sanchez, same here. But think of it more like getting a fit bird's digits and expecting it to be a disconnected before you even ring her. Let's just see if Johan answers the phone...

Itsmetsforme said...

i like your creative instincts. A triumph of this magnitude certainly calls for pornography!!

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