One Day Later, Bullpen Implodes

Let's wax hysterical for a moment.

If you hadn't listened to the game last night, merely looked briefly at the score, scanned the earliest reports off the wire, you might just feel your guts churning like the intestines of a alchoholic at an All You Can Eat burrito buffet.

On the day Duaner Sanchez underwent season-ending surgery Billy Wagner takes the opportunity to blow his fifth save of the season.

There simply must be some sort of dreadful innuendo in that phrase.

Lastings Milledge, replacing Xavier Nady a few days after bumping an ump in AAA, meted out three walks in four at-bats.

And through all this the Army wonders what happened to all those relatives riding in that fateful taxi with Duaner Sanchez? Did all of them seperate their shoulders extending their pitching arms towards the glass divider in front of them or was it only Duaner? And while I'm on it, google searches have led me to the name of the next big punk band to come out of Queens: Duaner Sanchez Taxi. What a hip, insiders only sort of name.

Billy Wagner doing his Roberto Hernandez impression.

Back to the game, a loss after three straight off the Braves. Not the end of the world. And Wagner blowing a save? Pshaw. Christ, how many blown saves did Braden Looper have already this time last season, a thousand?

Manager Willie gets my vote for weakest excuse for losing following last night's "It was a pretty good game after an off-day, just couldn't close the deal tonight."

So what, because it was the day off he's happy they weren't slammed 12-2? Right, is that because Mike "Bats In the" Pelfrey was on the mound, is that what Willie's saying, like look kids, be happy we weren't crushed like an insect on the wind screen of a Ford Crown Victoria moving at 55 mph on I-95 in Miami because the best we had to toss out there on the mound was Mike Pelfrey?

Pelfrey was respectable last night, functional. Four runs, seven hits in six innings. Certainly worthy of the sixth man in a six man rotation.

But is it worthy of One of the Nation's Top Pitching Prospects?

Did you see Chad Bradford and Aaron Heilman out there containing the Marlins in the 7th and 8th innings in anticipation of Wagner's hiccup? Holy Roberto Hernandez, Batman!

Ok, we needn't spend the rest of the season making Roberto Hernandez jokes and whingeing about Xavier Nady in a Pirates uniform. I mean, if YOU feel bad, how do you think Xavier Nady feels? One minute he's sitting on the beach with his fiancee (or should that be financee?,) a hipster with a cult following for the best team in the National League East and the next minute, poof, it's all gone, trundling down to a crap city like Pittsburgh to play a string of meaningless games the rest of the season for the last place Pirates.

I feel for Nady but to be honest, I'm excited about seeing Milledge out there. Barry Zito isn't even worth Lastings Milledge so he MUST be good. And there's the Carl Everett factor as well.

We could even start a pool, the When Will The Lastings Milledge Meltdown Occur? pool. Game 132? Game 155? Game 3 of the NLCS?

Rest easy, kids.

Billy Wagner blowing a save on the day Duaner Sanchez undergoes season-ending shoulder surgery is not a bad omen. Merely a coincidence.


kyle in newport news said...

I, too, am excited to see Lastings back with the club. Just don't put him in left if the Mets have to play at Fenway again.

Jaap said...

right Kyle, let's see what he'd do if Clemens threw a splintered bat his way...would he merely stand there looking manly or would he leap into the stands high fiving the fat guy selling Coors Light from a crate?

sanchez said...

Why you dissin Pittsburgh? It's a beautiful place if you like shitty beer washed down with cheap whiskey and the smell of shit everywhere.