Zambrano, Zambrano, Let Your Hair Down

Archie Bunker's Army is not holding its collective breath on the availability or success of the Victor Zambrano, he of the infamously stooopid Zambrano for Mets superstah future flamethrowing pitching phenom Scott Kazmir.

Zambrano, rumoured to be the bottom rung of next season's Met starting rotation, we THOUGHT was plagued by a dodgy right elbow but no, 'tisn't the elbow that had the Mets brass so concerned that they flew him to New York from Venezuela to have him looked at, it is the ankle. It appears Zambrano told friends his ankle still bothered him a great deal.

But now, with the magical wave of a wand, Zambrano is back throwing bullpen sessions. Herculean, that is, dodgy elbow, dodgy ankle and hanging by a string. Not to beat a theme to death but I'm still wondering to myself why Omar didn't take a swing at grabbing free agent Wade Miller before the Red Sox did. Miller won 45 games in three years for the Astros before going down for the season to a frayed labrum and by all accounts, for the measely amount it took to sign him after the Astros dumped him, could be the steal of the off season.

Instead, we can keep a running count of Victor Zambrano's Flying Circus of Various Maladies all season as he swoops his way through double digit figures in losses and a nice phat ERA.

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Now, more a sign of the inevitability of greed rather than any true, probable interest, the Carlos has spoken, noting that after visiting with the Astros and the Yankees, for his next act, he will now speak with the Mets.

The Mets, as Beltran told Primera Hora, a newspaper in Puerto Rico, "are being aggressive."

Aggressive as in signing a player as a backup first baseman to the first string first baseman they haven't signed yet? A backup first baseman who was born the year before the Mets began their major-league existence?

Well, at least he should be around for us to see him hit his first homerun, which would be homerun number 400.

The Mets also signed nine other players to minor-league deals with spring training invitations. That list included troubled former Florida Marlins catcher Ramon Castro, a one-time top prospect who last month pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor indecent assault charge stemming from a 2003 rape allegation. Castro is serving a one-year probation term. Also on that list were former Yankees reliever Juan Padilla, former Phillies infielder Marlon Anderson, former Padres and Cardinals outfielder Kerry Robinson as well as the familiar names of pitchers Grant Roberts and Scott Strickland and outfielder Gerald Williams.

Aggressive indeed. A rape assaulter, washed up and out-of-sorts players who have seen better days? I'm all for taking chances on players but really, is there anyone here to get truly excited about? Do you think any of them will play a big role on a winning Met team next season?